"My friend is in crisis but I just can't support them anymore without tanking my own mental health. What do I do? How do I step back?"

Remember the acronym TACT.

T - TIMING.

Consider the timing of your actions. Do they have other support around them, and if so, can they commit to reaching out to them?

Will your withdrawal result in a worsening crisis, and if so, is there someone within their support system you can alert in case there is an emergency? When is their next support group or therapy appointment? Confirm that they have the support they need in your absence.

A - ACCOUNTABILITY.

Take accountability. This can be challenging for people, because sometimes we feel exhausted and resentful by this stage. But ownership over your own behavior here is critical.

Accountability means being apologetic if boundaries weren’t clearly communicated, not blaming the other person for things outside their control, and owning where you may have overextended yourself.

We don't want anyone to internalize the idea that they were wrong to ask for support or that they're "too much." Accountability helps communicate the ways in which we showed up to contribute to this outcome.

C - CHECK IN.

Setting a date and time to check in next can be helpful reassurance so that your loved one knows you aren’t abandoning them.

It can be hard to feel like you’re losing crucial support at a time when you need that support most. Touching base is a great way to affirm for your loved one that they still matter to you, and that the space you’re taking is temporary.

T - TRANSPARENCY.

It’s crucial to communicate your expectations and boundaries for the time that you’re apart, especially because they’re changing.

If you need them to stop texting as frequently, say so. If you aren’t able to follow through on a commitment you made (like driving them to a particular appointment), let them know (see also: timing). Don’t assume that they can read your mind!

I review these strategies and so many more (including how to set boundaries!) in my newest @Healthline article on supporting someone in crisis.

Take a read. Hope it helps! https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/supporting-someone-in-a-mental-health-crisis