King: guys I want to introduce a new writer
King: L Frank Baum
Barker:
Barker: the oz guy?
King: yes
Barker:
Barker: is this like when you brought Richard Scarry
King: THAT WAS AN HONEST MISTAKE
King: how was I supposed to know?
King: I mean
King: look at his name

King: go ahead frank tell them that scary story you told me
Baum: i don't understand, i don't tell scary stories
Baum: i tell stories to delight children
King: they're all about decapitations
Baum:
Baum: well kids love decapitations

King: tell the one about the guys who have keratin wheels on their hands and feet
King: that one is SCARY
Baum: it's not scary, it's delightful
Baum: for kids!
King: don't talk about the winged monkeys tho
King: dean doesn't like those
Koontz: i don't like when they steal the dog

Baum: I tell tales for kids
Baum: like my story re a guy cursed to decapitate himself & rebuild himself as an undying metal golem
Barker: badass
Poe: how is THAT appropriate for kids
John Bellairs: seems fine to me
Poe: yeah john we all know what YOU think is appropriate for kids

Bellairs: whats that mean
Poe: you’re
Poe: you’re literally holding a hand of glory right now
Bellairs:
Bellairs: I needed more light
Poe: whose hand is that
Bellairs:
Bellairs:

Baum: i just tell simple tales for children!
Baum: Anyway, 40 wolves got their heads chopped off and there was an old hag with one tooth so long it pierced the back of her head
Baum: and there’s Langwidere, the spoiled princess with a cabinet of interchangeable heads

King: whoa that’s all pretty weird!
King: gosh Frank were you on DRUGS when you wrote this?
King: haha
Baum: I was high on the only real drug
King:
Baum: IMAGINATION!
Neil Gaiman: oo yes yes I can steal this
Gaiman: I mean right-o! imagination!

Baum: there’s this magic powder that brings things to life so this dude brings a glass cat to life
Baum: and you can see its braaaaain
Baum: also there’s a whole country of sentient bread people
Poe: wait a minute
Poe: carlton is that you
Baum:
Baum: no

Baum: and there’s jack pumpkinhead, his head is a pumpkin
Barker: wait so his body is human but he has a removable pumpkin head
Baum: yes
Barker: so there’s no veins or anything connecting his pumpkinhead to his human body
Baum: yes
Baum: like mayor McCheese
Barker: LIKE MAYOR--!

Barker:
Barker: well first of all I don’t think its at all established that’s the case with Mayor McCheese

Baum: also jack pumpkinhead’s head rots so he has to replace it all the time
Barker: what
Barker: that’s weird
Baum: why is that weird? That’s a normal thing pumpkins do
Barker: yeah but
Barker: it’s
Barker: his head
Baum:
Barker: I mean that’s WEIRD, right?

Baum: wouldn’t it be weirder if a pumpkin didn’t rot?
Barker:
Barker: but it’s HIS HEAD
Baum:
Barker: ok whatever
Baum: anyway he’s got all his old heads buried in a cemetary
Barker: his old heads are buried?? In a cemetary??
Baum: yeah like in little tiny baby graves

BTW Shout out to my good friend, @GTron , who taught me the true horrors of Oz through his VERY informative video series The Hungry Reader & is the definitive Oz resource imho if you want to know more https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChGLoV_oJalIRKDBTRBXEtg