Tw: eating disorders, weight loss

This is not something I talk about much but feel it is important to bring up with the discourse around obesity and government campaigns today.

I first went to the doctors for help with weight loss 4 years ago (1/)

This was just after an awful depressive period where it feels like I did nothing but sit in the dark and eat for three months.

This is when I started to self-diagnose as having binge eating disorder too.

We have lots of obesity, heart disease and diabetes in my family (2/)

I didn't really know what I wanted when I went to the doctors, other than help.

I got prescribed orlistat 3 times a day (stops you digesting as much) and sent to Weight Watchers. And that was that. (3/)

WWs 'worked' for a while - I lost a lot of weight really fast but then I started putting it on again, triggering really disordered eating patterns and other self harming behaviours. It was not good (again).

In less than a year I weighed more than I did when I started (4/)

It took me 18 months to balance out and undo these habits and restore some sort of healthy eating style. This was all done on my own with several blips where I returned to WW as it worked the first time so obviously would work again if I just tried hard enough (5/)

Eventually I had got to the point where I could keep my weight stable and hadn't binged for months.

But I (personally) wasn't physically healthy, still at risk for different things and couldn't lose weight on my own. So I went back to (a different) doctors to ask for help (6/)

This is where it gets really relevant to today's 'news'.

This is in April 2019. We discussed medical weight loss options and I got put into the system for an appointment at one of the local hospitals to see a consultant. At the end of September. (7/)

This actually happened in November due to cancellations. The consultation basically agreed with what we had discussed at the doctors and put me into the system again.
I was booked in for a range of tests to make sure there was nothing else going on and sent to a dietician. (8/)

In order to get weight loss surgery on the NHS, you have to attend a lower level treatment first, basically a year long weight loss course. Once you finish this course (and are judged successful, depending on the region) you can join the waiting list for surgery. (9/)

The waiting list for weight loss surgery in London is/ was about a year. I am very lucky (lol) - because of Weight Watchers I was able to join the waiting list right away and do the weight loss course whilst waiting for surgery.

So a one year wait rather than 2 years. (10/)

This is all happening January/ February 2020 now. So I was given the expectation that I would be having weight loss surgery in the beginning of 2021.

I will be 29 and will have been obese and asking for help for 6 years - 5th of my life. (11/)

Also due to nature of appointments and this course, it means I have to stay in London till probably at least Autumn 2021. Maybe fine, but also not a choice anymore.

This is all pre-covid dates too. Haven't a clue what is happening now. (12/)

So when you hear Boris pushing weight loss on NHS and surgery as an option to keep people healthy - it's not fast. And it's really really tough. And there are a lot of people like me already waiting on that list wondering what on earth is going on and having no answers. (13/)

I mentioned a weight loss course you have to complete in order to be considered for surgery. This course is probably the most hated thing in my life.

I won't go into much detail as this is already a long thread, but in my area of London you can choose between two courses (14/)

One is based on meal replacement - you swap one meal a day for a shake thing whilst doing all the other standard weight loss indoctrination.
We (me & dietitian (who I saw one whole time)) decided that that was probably not a great idea for someone with an eating disorder. (15/)

So I went on the other, longer course (as I was already on the waiting list). What I was not told was that this course was all about calorie counting and restriction. Which was a fun surprise to find out in week 1.

Also these were of course all on Monday early afternoons. (16/)

Anyway these courses consisted of listing foods that fit into different categories (can anyone list a fruit?) & on week 3 we were let into the secret that if you used more calories than you ate you would lose weight!

It was genuinely insulting and really triggering. (17/)

We also had to weight ourselves each week. We hadn't been told what this information was for but I know other regions don't let you get surgery unless you maintain or lose weight during this time, so that was also really triggering. (18/)

As someone with binge eating disorder, triggering does not equal weight loss at all for me.

And that's literally where I am at now. These classes are online now at completely random dates - we just get a text on the day. (19/)

The whole process has been long, involved putting my life plans on hold and hugely triggering. I have put on weight since starting because this which is a whole unknown in itself

It's not an easy solution. It's barely a solution to be honest and its dangerous in many ways. (21/)

Also not a solution? Focusing on 'bad foods'. Shaming people for being obese. Linking obesity purely to eating habits and lack of exercise. Showing how much obese people are costing the country.

Mental health care and listening to own voices needs to be prioritised.

(22/22)

If this is upsetting or you want to learn more @beatED is a fantastic place with lots of support and information.

@samaritans are also open 24/7 if you need to talk.