Read on Twitter
Old-school Cartoon Characters Ranked: A Thread
Eligibility is based on a set of arbitrary rules that only exist in my head. If your fave isn't included congrats on being the world's last surviving Dinky Doodle stan
Debate is welcome but decisions are FINAL.
Eligibility is based on a set of arbitrary rules that only exist in my head. If your fave isn't included congrats on being the world's last surviving Dinky Doodle stan
Debate is welcome but decisions are FINAL.
35. Chilly Willy
Not only is Willy not nearly as cute as he thinks he is, but his whole schtick is so one-note and lame: the guy is cold and he wants to get warm
They somehow made 50 cartoons with this premise, which is 49 more than it deserves. Just the worst
Not only is Willy not nearly as cute as he thinks he is, but his whole schtick is so one-note and lame: the guy is cold and he wants to get warm
They somehow made 50 cartoons with this premise, which is 49 more than it deserves. Just the worst
34. Andy Panda
Also from the Walter Lantz studio and also filed under not-nearly-as-cute-as-he-thinks-he-is
When you've got so little going for you they have to pair you up with Woody Woodpecker of all people, you know you've let the side down
Also from the Walter Lantz studio and also filed under not-nearly-as-cute-as-he-thinks-he-is
When you've got so little going for you they have to pair you up with Woody Woodpecker of all people, you know you've let the side down
33. Colonel Heeza Liar
Not only does he sport the laziest pun of all time, this Teddy Roosevelt-inspired Great White Hunter type spends most of his time trying to colonise foreign countries
If he were real we'd be tearing his statues down by now
Not only does he sport the laziest pun of all time, this Teddy Roosevelt-inspired Great White Hunter type spends most of his time trying to colonise foreign countries
If he were real we'd be tearing his statues down by now
32. Bobby Bumps
Bobby may not get up to much of interest in these ancient cartoons, but he gets one over on Willy, Andy and Heeza because he at least seems like he'd be a pretty rad dude if he weren't restricted to moving at like one frame per second
Bobby may not get up to much of interest in these ancient cartoons, but he gets one over on Willy, Andy and Heeza because he at least seems like he'd be a pretty rad dude if he weren't restricted to moving at like one frame per second
31. Mutt & Jeff
This rinky-dink pair of newspaper strip holdovers starred in a record number of 300 cartoons despite never doing anything funny ever
This rinky-dink pair of newspaper strip holdovers starred in a record number of 300 cartoons despite never doing anything funny ever
30. Heckle & Jeckle
These guys have a really tiresome dynamic whereby one is a blue collar Noo Yawker and the other is really posh and says stuff like 'old bean' etc
They do get points for having a prime time TV show where they roasted Dick Van Dyke though
These guys have a really tiresome dynamic whereby one is a blue collar Noo Yawker and the other is really posh and says stuff like 'old bean' etc
They do get points for having a prime time TV show where they roasted Dick Van Dyke though
29. Mr Magoo
Like Chilly Willy, Mr Magoo has an incredibly narrow set of characteristics: he has terrible eyesight blind and he's an asshole
If I wanted to see a bald, blind asshole who alienates everyone around him I would simply look in the mirror
Like Chilly Willy, Mr Magoo has an incredibly narrow set of characteristics: he has terrible eyesight blind and he's an asshole
If I wanted to see a bald, blind asshole who alienates everyone around him I would simply look in the mirror
28. Woody Woodpecker
Everyone up to this point is ranked low simply for being boring, but Woody is the first character on the list who's loudly, aggressively, kinetically awful
For that I respect him, but I cannot sanction his buffoonery
Everyone up to this point is ranked low simply for being boring, but Woody is the first character on the list who's loudly, aggressively, kinetically awful
For that I respect him, but I cannot sanction his buffoonery
27. Willie Whopper
This fella's deal is he tells really elaborate lies about going on great adventures, including this one where he claims to have travelled to Hell itself
Gotta admire the cojones on this kid if nothing else
This fella's deal is he tells really elaborate lies about going on great adventures, including this one where he claims to have travelled to Hell itself
Gotta admire the cojones on this kid if nothing else
26. Oswald the Lucky Rabbit
Famously the character Disney lost the rights to, instigating the creation of Mickey Mouse
Disney have had a lot of fun with him since they got the rights back but his original cartoons are pretty naff, especially after this tragic redesign
Famously the character Disney lost the rights to, instigating the creation of Mickey Mouse
Disney have had a lot of fun with him since they got the rights back but his original cartoons are pretty naff, especially after this tragic redesign
25. Bimbo
Quickly overshadowed by his girlfriend Betty Boop (bestiality aside, my man is definitely punching) Bimbo is basically a poor man's Mickey who failed upwards into some of the greatest cartoons of all time
Quickly overshadowed by his girlfriend Betty Boop (bestiality aside, my man is definitely punching) Bimbo is basically a poor man's Mickey who failed upwards into some of the greatest cartoons of all time
24. Speedy Gonzales
The lowest-ranked Looney Tunes character, and the most recent to debut
Speedy is pretty charming (albeit potentially problematic), but god bless him he's just not very funny
The lowest-ranked Looney Tunes character, and the most recent to debut
Speedy is pretty charming (albeit potentially problematic), but god bless him he's just not very funny
23. Farmer Al Falfa
Al Falfa is a hero, a legend, a pioneer. Sometimes cited as the first recurring cartoon star, he also made the leap to sound before Mickey and seriously raised the facial-hair game
Loses points because he probably voted for Trump
Al Falfa is a hero, a legend, a pioneer. Sometimes cited as the first recurring cartoon star, he also made the leap to sound before Mickey and seriously raised the facial-hair game
Loses points because he probably voted for Trump
22. Screwy Squirrel
Created by Tex Avery, Screwy is similar to Woody Woodpecker (chaotic, kinetic, just wants to watch the world burn). He's somehow even more unlikeable, but compensates by actually being funny
Lasted only five shorts because even Tex thought he was a bit much
Created by Tex Avery, Screwy is similar to Woody Woodpecker (chaotic, kinetic, just wants to watch the world burn). He's somehow even more unlikeable, but compensates by actually being funny
Lasted only five shorts because even Tex thought he was a bit much
21. Mighty Mouse
There is nothing funny about Mighty Mouse. Often he'd barely even appear in his own cartoons. He'd just show up at the last second to absolutely demolish his enemies
He's a force of nature. In interviews, his creators compare him to God himself. Fear him.
There is nothing funny about Mighty Mouse. Often he'd barely even appear in his own cartoons. He'd just show up at the last second to absolutely demolish his enemies
He's a force of nature. In interviews, his creators compare him to God himself. Fear him.
20. Pluto
I've never really 'got' Pluto. He's cute enough to be a sidekick but his solo material is mostly tedious IMHO
Even at his best he's not worth the confusion he's wrought upon the Mickey-verse by insisting on acting like a regular dog in a world where Goofy exists
I've never really 'got' Pluto. He's cute enough to be a sidekick but his solo material is mostly tedious IMHO
Even at his best he's not worth the confusion he's wrought upon the Mickey-verse by insisting on acting like a regular dog in a world where Goofy exists
19. Koko the Clown
Koko is a born innovator, as the first rotoscoped cartoon and one of the first to interact with real people onscreen
His finest hour by far, though, is when he's turned into a terrifying jazz-singing golem, which doesn't say much for his actual personality
Koko is a born innovator, as the first rotoscoped cartoon and one of the first to interact with real people onscreen
His finest hour by far, though, is when he's turned into a terrifying jazz-singing golem, which doesn't say much for his actual personality
18. Porky Pig
Yes, Porky is an absolute icon. He gave the world 'That's All Folks!' and for that alone he has earned his place in Valhalla
But he's also an eternal straight man, and while he has his moments (especially when paired with Daffy) he can't compete in the big leagues
Yes, Porky is an absolute icon. He gave the world 'That's All Folks!' and for that alone he has earned his place in Valhalla
But he's also an eternal straight man, and while he has his moments (especially when paired with Daffy) he can't compete in the big leagues
17. Wolf
Easily the worst character on the list, like, as a person, his influence is undeniable and his horny freakouts have echoed through the ages
Without this absolute shocker of a bloke there would be no Jim Carrey's The Mask and that is no small thing
Easily the worst character on the list, like, as a person, his influence is undeniable and his horny freakouts have echoed through the ages
Without this absolute shocker of a bloke there would be no Jim Carrey's The Mask and that is no small thing
16. Popeye
A working-class hero in the Bruce Springsteen mould, Popeye's cartoons have still seen some serious ups and downs in terms of quality
There's only so many times you can watch the whole spinach scenario play out and still feel invested
A working-class hero in the Bruce Springsteen mould, Popeye's cartoons have still seen some serious ups and downs in terms of quality
There's only so many times you can watch the whole spinach scenario play out and still feel invested
15. Pepé Le Pew
Another character whose main schtick is being super-horny and not respecting boundaries
He may be a complete dog, but there's a lot to laugh at, and even a bit of pathos buried under that smelly, suave facade
Another character whose main schtick is being super-horny and not respecting boundaries
He may be a complete dog, but there's a lot to laugh at, and even a bit of pathos buried under that smelly, suave facade
14. Felix the Cat
A true king, Felix showed the world what a cartoon star could be, and just how eye-wateringly lucrative they could be
Felix had IT, whatever IT was, helping him sell toys, records, and pull off a sick collab with Charlie Chaplin
A true king, Felix showed the world what a cartoon star could be, and just how eye-wateringly lucrative they could be
Felix had IT, whatever IT was, helping him sell toys, records, and pull off a sick collab with Charlie Chaplin
13. Sylvester & Tweety
There are three pairs of titans looming over the chase genre (more on the other two later), and while the cat and canary might come up trumps in terms of characterisation, their antics seem a bit sanitised next to the ultraviolence of the competition
There are three pairs of titans looming over the chase genre (more on the other two later), and while the cat and canary might come up trumps in terms of characterisation, their antics seem a bit sanitised next to the ultraviolence of the competition
12. Mickey Mouse
This might seem low, but while Mickey started off a trailblazer he ended up overshadowed by his younger, wackier colleagues and their more distinct personalities
He had his share of bangers, but so did the Sugarhill Gang and no one's calling them top 10 rappers
This might seem low, but while Mickey started off a trailblazer he ended up overshadowed by his younger, wackier colleagues and their more distinct personalities
He had his share of bangers, but so did the Sugarhill Gang and no one's calling them top 10 rappers
11. Foghorn Leghorn
Genuinely surprised at how high I ended up putting this guy, never thought of him as a top-tier Looney Tune
I just find his loudmouth southern-fried schtick really, really funny and sometimes it's as simple as that
Genuinely surprised at how high I ended up putting this guy, never thought of him as a top-tier Looney Tune
I just find his loudmouth southern-fried schtick really, really funny and sometimes it's as simple as that
10. Flip the Frog
Look, I had to have a wildcard in the Top 10
Who is Flip the Frog? He's Mickey Mouse co-creator Ub Iwerk's solo project. He plays piano, sometimes solves mysteries, and is just an all-round class-act
Also I have a serious thing for frogs in old-timey outfits
Look, I had to have a wildcard in the Top 10
Who is Flip the Frog? He's Mickey Mouse co-creator Ub Iwerk's solo project. He plays piano, sometimes solves mysteries, and is just an all-round class-act
Also I have a serious thing for frogs in old-timey outfits
9. Betty Boop
Serious kudos to Betty for going out there and making it in a man's world as the only major female cartoon star of her day
She did play the damsel roll a fair few times but she was also hip, modern, cool as ice and anchored some absolute all-timer cartoons
Serious kudos to Betty for going out there and making it in a man's world as the only major female cartoon star of her day
She did play the damsel roll a fair few times but she was also hip, modern, cool as ice and anchored some absolute all-timer cartoons
8. Gerald McBoing-Boing
This kid does one thing and one thing only, and that's speak exclusively in sound effects
That he managed to turn this affliction into not only a stunning cartoon but also a successful career in radio is an inspiration. Boing on you crazy diamond
This kid does one thing and one thing only, and that's speak exclusively in sound effects
That he managed to turn this affliction into not only a stunning cartoon but also a successful career in radio is an inspiration. Boing on you crazy diamond
7. Tom & Jerry
Maybe the purest - although not quite the best - example of the two-animals-trying-to-murder-each-other paradigm
We are now firmly into 10s-only territory, so the only thing stopping these boys from being the best are the even better boys ranked above them
Maybe the purest - although not quite the best - example of the two-animals-trying-to-murder-each-other paradigm
We are now firmly into 10s-only territory, so the only thing stopping these boys from being the best are the even better boys ranked above them
6. Goofy
As no less an authority than Roger Rabbit once said: 'Nobody takes a wallop like Goofy! What timing! What finesse! What a genius!'
The undisputed king of slapstick, Goofy is also a role model for single dads everywhere. Just a real wholesome guy
As no less an authority than Roger Rabbit once said: 'Nobody takes a wallop like Goofy! What timing! What finesse! What a genius!'
The undisputed king of slapstick, Goofy is also a role model for single dads everywhere. Just a real wholesome guy
5. Coyote & Road Runner
Distilling the chase down to its essence, these guys drop gag after gag while also getting into the pathos and pathology of what it means to devote your life to an unattainable goal
They deserve some kind of award. Nobel Prize for literature maybe?
Distilling the chase down to its essence, these guys drop gag after gag while also getting into the pathos and pathology of what it means to devote your life to an unattainable goal
They deserve some kind of award. Nobel Prize for literature maybe?
4. Droopy
I could wax at length about why Droopy belongs this high on the list, about how his dogged pursuit of justice puts cinema's greatest heroes to shame, but it all comes down to one thing:
It's very, very funny when he pops up and scares the wolf
I could wax at length about why Droopy belongs this high on the list, about how his dogged pursuit of justice puts cinema's greatest heroes to shame, but it all comes down to one thing:
It's very, very funny when he pops up and scares the wolf
3. Donald Duck
I won't even try to list all of Donald's accomplishments here but I will say this:
He was the Disney studio's first fully-realised character, with real goals and feelings and failings. He carried that damn mouse for decades. We as a society owe him a debt
I won't even try to list all of Donald's accomplishments here but I will say this:
He was the Disney studio's first fully-realised character, with real goals and feelings and failings. He carried that damn mouse for decades. We as a society owe him a debt
2. Bugs Bunny
The joy of seeing a Bugs Bunny cartoon is just sitting back and watching him work
Like Groucho Marx meets the Terminator, you know he's gonna destroy anyone he comes up against without breaking a sweat, but you love to see how he gets there
The joy of seeing a Bugs Bunny cartoon is just sitting back and watching him work
Like Groucho Marx meets the Terminator, you know he's gonna destroy anyone he comes up against without breaking a sweat, but you love to see how he gets there
1. Daffy Duck
Not just the best toon, but one of the richest characters in all of fiction
You could write a 600-page novel or a 5-season HBO drama about Daffy without adding anything to the character found in those cartoons, and you can't say that about anyone else on this list
Not just the best toon, but one of the richest characters in all of fiction
You could write a 600-page novel or a 5-season HBO drama about Daffy without adding anything to the character found in those cartoons, and you can't say that about anyone else on this list
