I can respect ppl that enjoyed Fifty Shades of Gray despite its problems but I can't respect E L James for writing it, bc she wrote abuse but refuses to accept it.
I would not care if she did and realised that bc everybody has their own tastes, but not acknowledging it is worse

I have no problem with toxic relationships still being presented as sexy and titillating, and I have no problem with ppl liking that, I enjoy noncon for gods sake.
However, trying to pass something off as a regular romance is wrong.

Im not saying they can't fall in love or still end up together, just that her insistence that there is no toxicity or "no rape in fifty shades of gray" just bugs me immensely.
This is partly what I mean when I say fanfics are safer cause they warn u whereas books don't.

I'm fine with toxic unhealthy relationships, I even like to read some myself. I just don't like pretending its something its not, bc imo thats actually something with the potential to normalize then a self aware noncon ect fic.
Its hard to put succinctly into words.

anyway, I watched a really informative video on fifty shades of gray, and tbh it was really fantastic and educative. It gave me a lot to think about and I really respect how they handled sexuality and relationships in it.

They openly highlight how originally this book was mocked for being "mommy porn" and shamed for being open about female sexuality (even if later critics rightly criticised its abuse and misrepresentations of the BDSM community), which I do think is an important point.

It also recognises that ppl who enjoyed it may have liked the taboo, the toxic elements and the forceful nature of it (bc it gives the reader an out "no she's not a sugar baby, she has morals and rejects his lavish cool presents but he FORCES them on her so he HAS to enjoy it"

Like say what u will about E L James and 50shades (lord knows I don't like her as I said) but her book did really connect with a side of women that feel repressed and like they can't be openly sexual/pampered but want to be,

and gave them an outlet that didn't have the *exact kind of* attached shame (ie forced).
And I don't think its wrong or shameful for women to seek that, society has shamed us enough. God forbid that results in us trying to work through our sexuality

and desires in a way that we feel like we can without having to openly ask for it bc society has shamed us into thinking any kind of open sexuality is bad, embarrassing, shameful and "mommy porn".

Idk I just think maybe society should stop mocking "mommy porn" and women being sexually repressed when society is the thing that shamed women into that mindset of seeking those fantasies out :/