I work on being measured in my personal life, but I understand superfan culture. I'm not even through the pilot of #IMayDestroyYou and I'm like "WHICHEVER ONE OF YOU HURTS HER WILL DIE BY MY HAND." (I get to shows a little late, so I see spoilers, but I still love my stories!)

I also felt this exact way when I watched the pilot of
a.) fleabag
b.) killing eve
c.) schitt's creek
d.) yo gabba gabba

(okay I've never seen the pilot of YGG but I would truly learn close combat knife skills to protect DJ Lance Rock)

Bear in mind I am Jersey trash and felt this way after the pilot of Jersey Shore so like GRAIN OF SALT ON THIS ONE.

Oh, also pen15. Ten out of ten would do a protective murder for all the seventh graders, including the actual seventh graders.

Maybe this just has to do with being raised by people with a strange code of loyalty? Am I just watching TV like a Sicilian Scorpio?

I would fully do a murder to protect ANY character on Sesame Street, past, present, or future.

Literally killing time on Twitter doing a thread about TV characters for whom I'd murder, all because I am sad that a character I just met 23 minutes ago is going to have a bad thing happen to her. Very normal behavior, Sara.

I have to finish the pilot before one of you tweets at me "OH MY GOD THE FOURTH EPISODE SARA WAIT FOR THAT." Yes I goddamn know, I have SEEN your spoilers, it's FINE, I am working through my feelings about imaginary people, thank you.

And one of you is going to jump in with "The 4th episode is amazing but wait til the X episode." You will just respond to my previous tweet, not realizing this is a TRULY IMPORTANT THREAD, and then you will read this tweet and go, "Wow, I need to reflect on who I am."

I will catch up and read all the essays and interviews I've skipped, but if somebody doesn't talk about moisturizer and a highlight in a beauty themed listicle then beauty journalism has failed us okay bye.

As soon as the white guy got to the table in the bar with booze I yelled out loud, "WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU COME FROM?! WHO INVITED YOU?" I don't trust him or anyone in this GODDAMN BAR.

Also I am watching this show with subtitles because I'm a patriot.