Read on Twitter
This is really sad but also is giving me ideas for Kylo in a modern au https://twitter.com/ijahgrey/status/1286843337987817479
Kylo was a sensitive child and Han always jokingly told him to man up.
āCāmon, pilot, man up a little. Nothing to cry about.ā
āYou can do it little guy, go on, be a man!ā
āBen, act like a grown man for godās sake, you canāt just go and break shāthings this way.ā
āCāmon, pilot, man up a little. Nothing to cry about.ā
āYou can do it little guy, go on, be a man!ā
āBen, act like a grown man for godās sake, you canāt just go and break shāthings this way.ā
Leia, too, although it was a lot less. When she did it, it was more of a reminder for Kylo of all the times Han told him.
Of course Han never meant it in a bad way. He didnāt realise just how much Kylo noticed these little jabs, just how deeply they cut into him.
Of course Han never meant it in a bad way. He didnāt realise just how much Kylo noticed these little jabs, just how deeply they cut into him.
When Kylo first cried out of sheer helplessness, he growled at himself to ābe a manā and punched through a tree. He was 13. He had to tell Leia he fell off his bike to explain his scratched up, swollen hand.
At the ER they told him two of his fingers were broken.
At the ER they told him two of his fingers were broken.
Kylo was never the man Han wanted him to be, but he was barely a man at all when the hardest shit hit him. He wasnāt a man, he was useless, powerless, a thousand shards of all the broken glas he stuck and ripped out of his body.
Therapy was never an option for Kylo. Han never needed therapy to be a man. Neither did Luke, however crazy he might be. Kylo didnāt know that much about Anakin.
It wasnāt a conscious thought, either. He mostly thought about it when kids at school saw him kicking a hole through
It wasnāt a conscious thought, either. He mostly thought about it when kids at school saw him kicking a hole through
something and yelled āGet therapy!ā before scattering off.
Kylo never unlearned not to cry when he was angry.
He stopped crying during the waves of helplesness around the time he left high school. Or, better said, he learned to fight those tears away. But when heās angry, thereās nothing he can do. His heartbeat picks up, his nostrils
He stopped crying during the waves of helplesness around the time he left high school. Or, better said, he learned to fight those tears away. But when heās angry, thereās nothing he can do. His heartbeat picks up, his nostrils
flare, he grinds his teeth and his eyes well up. Heās never sad then, and he knows heās not a pussy (he wins street fights, for fuckās sake), but every single goddamn time, he cries.
Which makes him spiral, because once again, Han says those words, whether or not heās around.
Which makes him spiral, because once again, Han says those words, whether or not heās around.
(Cw self harm)
He figures soon enough that the shock of pain stops those tears, or any other ones begging to crawl out of him.
The first few times he thinks itās adrenaline, his blood pressure rising because heās viciously punching or breaking something, but then he ashes his
He figures soon enough that the shock of pain stops those tears, or any other ones begging to crawl out of him.
The first few times he thinks itās adrenaline, his blood pressure rising because heās viciously punching or breaking something, but then he ashes his
cigarette on his forearm, and the short scream and long breath he lets out fe like puking up all the demons writhing inside himself.
In a way, it helps.
If anything helps him feel like a man, itās hitting someoneās face so hard he breaks his fingers.
Itās gripping the bottle he just broke on someoneās head, the shards opening up his palm, warm blood dripping.
Itās ashing his cigarettes on his skin.
If anything helps him feel like a man, itās hitting someoneās face so hard he breaks his fingers.
Itās gripping the bottle he just broke on someoneās head, the shards opening up his palm, warm blood dripping.
Itās ashing his cigarettes on his skin.
He hurts, others and himself, hurts and breaks and burns and cuts and smashes and fucks up and almost kills, and /takes it/.
He takes all of it.
Like a man.
He takes all of it.
Like a man.
The end I guess, this was very therapeutic.
