It's Sunday, so that means it's sex ed question box time where I answer five anonymous questions young people have asked me in classes over the past few years:

Q: Does sex feel good for everybody?
A. No. Some medical conditions make sex less enjoyable, such as dyspareunia (painful sex) or cardiovascular disease. Mental health issues like depression or anxiety can also make sex less enjoyable...

...If you experience physical or emotional discomfort, talk to a health care provider. Additionally, some people aren’t interested in sex at all. Asexuality is a term that describes a range of disinterest in sex. Read more about that here: https://bit.ly/3g4ZfBz 

Q: Can you still get pregnant when using a condom?
A. Yes. When it comes to pregnancy prevention, it’s important to understand there are two sets of efficacy statistics: perfect use and typical use. Perfect use means just that: perfect use. Typical use incorporates typical...

...human error. The perfect use efficacy rate for external condoms is 98% & typical use is 85%. Remember, contraception is only as good as you make it: you need to use it correctly and consistently in order for it to work.

Q: How does the vagina get loose?
A: The vagina doesn’t get loose in the way this question implies. Many people think of the vagina as a tube, or a tunnel, but that’s not really correct. It’s much more like a pocket. The walls of the vagina lie very close to together...

...when nothing is inserted, just like the pocket of your jeans lays close together when your phone isn’t in it. When something is inserted, like a tampon, the hyper flexible vaginal walls stretch to accommodate - just like your jeans pocket stretches apart to hold your phone.

...Once the vagina is empty, like after a baby was birthed, the tissue goes back to the being close together. Of course, there are limits to how far the tissue can stretch and it’s true that skin looses elasticity over time, but that doesn’t make vaginas loose...

...Weak pelvic floor muscles can cause a “loose” feeling in the vagina, but it’s not actually the vagina that is loose. Physical therapy can be very helpful for people who experience that.

Most importantly, vaginal tissue gets more flexible and lubricated as a physical response to arousal, which is why vaginal tightness being a desirable trait is counterproductive to sexual pleasure. Instead of "tight", think "wet".

Q: 4. What do you do if you are pregnant and want to have an abortion, but you mom says no?
A: If you're under 18, you may or may not have to tell a parent in order to get an abortion — it depends on the state laws where you live...

...In some states, you don't have to anyone. In others, you do. In some cases, you may be able to get a judge's permission to get an abortion without telling your parents. Here is a list of parental notification laws for abortion by state: https://bit.ly/2WXs9fv 

Remember that abortion is time sensitive, meaning barriers to access increase the longer you wait. If you think you need an abortion, call your doctor or your nearest planned parenthood. Even if the PP is far away to help you, they can still help you find closer resources.

Q: Is there a specific age that you are supposed to have sex?
A: No, but there are specific ages that make sex illegal because sex is obviously something children cannot participate in. Age of consent laws vary depending on where you live...

Sometimes when people ask me this question they really want to know the “normal” age for someone to have penetrative sex for the first time is. Here in the US, the average age for first penetrative sexual experience is 17, but it’s important to remember that is just an average.

17 being the average means that some people have sex earlier and some people wait a lot longer. There is no "right age" to have sex. Only you can decide what's best for you according to your values, goals, and circumstances. The decision should come from inside, not outside.