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I don't know how to eloquently word my thoughts or my feelings, but I'm going to try. So, here goes.
I don't know how to eloquently word my thoughts or my feelings, but I'm going to try. So, here goes.
It's.....scary, to be back on here. And it's only been 4 days. I'm still very hurt by what happened/is still happening.
I have a lot of emotions. I'm anxious. I'm bitter. I'm angry. I'm appalled. I'm apprehensive. I'm stressed. I'm disheartened. I'm frustrated. I'm disappointed.
I have a lot of emotions. I'm anxious. I'm bitter. I'm angry. I'm appalled. I'm apprehensive. I'm stressed. I'm disheartened. I'm frustrated. I'm disappointed.
I feel like I've been squashed. I feel like I have no presence. There's so much I want to say, so much I want to address and clarify and explain, but I feel like I need to walk on eggshells to avoid another barrage of backlash.
And I fucking hate that.
And I fucking hate that.
I fucking hate that anyone has to walk on eggshells when it comes to calling out, addressing, and/or questioning problematic behavior from large accounts. You shouldn't have to.
Accountability should not be conditional.
Accountability should not be conditional.
It has been frustrating to witness victims of harassment be silenced, bullied, mocked, dismissed, and/or tone-policed simply because they vocalized behavior they weren't okay with. That is never ok, no matter who is doing it.
It has been frustrating to witness the blatant harassment of others be ignored or cast off as "high school drama". We collectively should work harder at acknowledging victims' pain & defending them when we see abusive behavior harming them.
I think this tweet by Emrazz about being an ally sums it up. https://twitter.com/emrazz/status/1286736117027540996?s=19
Engaging in abusive tactics, such as victim-blaming a victim for how they handled or are handling their harassment/abuse, will prompt an immediate block from me.
Dismissing victims' harassment or experiences by telling them to "get over it", "move on", or anything along the lines of "if you focused on more important issues, you wouldn't be harassed" will prompt an immediate block from me.
And, a reminder that asking for accountability is NOT an attack. Learn to recognize DARVO.
Wagatwe made a great infographic on it. https://twitter.com/wagatwe/status/1282701748960927745?s=19
Wagatwe made a great infographic on it. https://twitter.com/wagatwe/status/1282701748960927745?s=19
Lasting thoughts:
Please refrain from jumping onto the harassment-is-warranted bandwagon. It's a really shitty wagon to be on. You don't need to agree with how someone handles their harassment, but you should NEVER police their methods or suggest the harassment is justified.
Please refrain from jumping onto the harassment-is-warranted bandwagon. It's a really shitty wagon to be on. You don't need to agree with how someone handles their harassment, but you should NEVER police their methods or suggest the harassment is justified.
Finally... If there's anyone reading this who has been targeted and bullied by a prominent account with a loyal following, and/or has deactivated for any period of time because of it, please don't hesitate to reach out. My DMs are open to you.
