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Okay so
Amidst the whole country being swallowed by fascism, I think this might be, in comparison, a small concern; however, it's been weighing heavily on my mind, so I think it's time for another emotional intelligence thread.
Topic: communication and critique
Amidst the whole country being swallowed by fascism, I think this might be, in comparison, a small concern; however, it's been weighing heavily on my mind, so I think it's time for another emotional intelligence thread.
Topic: communication and critique
In the past, I've spoken at length about emotional intelligence—namely that some people cannot sort through their own emotions well enough to understand their feelings and reactions.
For those people, communication often doesn't go well, and they typically don't understand why.
For those people, communication often doesn't go well, and they typically don't understand why.
Emotionally intelligent people may still have trouble communicating, however, depending on their level of empathy and their understanding of boundaries.
With this in mind, a simple concept that is often lost on people—
With this in mind, a simple concept that is often lost on people—
Your opinion does not always *deserve* air time.
This is true despite your perceived level of expertise, experience, or knowledge.
This innocuous concept is unfathomable to some.
This is true despite your perceived level of expertise, experience, or knowledge.
This innocuous concept is unfathomable to some.
In most cases, unsolicited advice is rude or unnecessary.
"But, Katie! There are people who literally critique things as a job!"
Yes, and they are usually critiquing a product that's been sent to them by the creator/business for review.
"But, Katie! There are people who literally critique things as a job!"
Yes, and they are usually critiquing a product that's been sent to them by the creator/business for review.
And, most importantly, this critique is shared in a place that critic has specifically curated for their reviews. Professional critiques are not sent to a company or creator directly, partly because the publicity is part of the relationship between critic
and company/creator.
and company/creator.
Scenario: you tell an artist at their exhibition that they should've used cornflower blue instead of cerulean in a piece.
Not only does your opinion not always deserve to be heard, this opinion is subjective. Subjective opinions are low tier and usually least worthy of sharing
Not only does your opinion not always deserve to be heard, this opinion is subjective. Subjective opinions are low tier and usually least worthy of sharing
Some people fail to understand the difference between telling a new parent to wipe a baby front to back (objective, prevents actual harm) and forcing their subjective thoughts onto someone.
Here are some checkpoints:
Did they ask for opinions?
Is this positive?
Is it constructive?
What is my motivation for sharing?
What is my end-goal for sharing?
I made a graphic (lol):
Did they ask for opinions?
Is this positive?
Is it constructive?
What is my motivation for sharing?
What is my end-goal for sharing?
I made a graphic (lol):
And, finally, if you are in a scenario where offering your opinion/advice is correct/not rude,
BE FUCKING KIND
Offering opinions in a sarcastic, condescending, and/or contrarian manner reveals to us that your goal was purely or mostly self indulgent.
How do we know?
BE FUCKING KIND
Offering opinions in a sarcastic, condescending, and/or contrarian manner reveals to us that your goal was purely or mostly self indulgent.
How do we know?
It's not helpful to anyone to be an asshole to people.
If you want to "help," you'll leave your ego at the door.
If you want to "help," you'll leave your ego at the door.
Obviously this is geared towards informal, interpersonal communication. You should always critique your government, institutions, capitalism, and people with objectively too much money/power, etc., specifically on actions that impact others, and harshly so.
Acab, punch fascists
Acab, punch fascists
Otherwise, there is ALWAYS a way to share a constructive opinion kindly, no matter how difficult the situation.
If you don't want to put in the effort to figure that phrasing out, don't share your opinion. It's really that simple.
If you don't want to put in the effort to figure that phrasing out, don't share your opinion. It's really that simple.
