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In a nutshell: Besides vague notions of “masculinity” & “femininity”—this type of analysis reflects a narrow, classist, & elitist view of family disguised as concern for piety. Such rhetoric actively harms many Muslim families—especially those on the margins of capitalism. https://twitter.com/nourmgoda/status/1286104222916902914
I converted to Islam as a teenager—raised in a female headed household. My mother rest her soul did the whole bourgeois-aspiring get married & raise kids. Her husband was physically, emotionally, financially abusive. Her work outside the home & “acting like a man” saved her life.
You cannot make claims that “Islam is relevant for all times and places” and then turn around and advocate a vague, pie-in-the sky, one-size fits all model for family organization that is supposed to make sense in its minutiae across time, history, race, class, technology, etc.
I have seen, in my 30 years of being Muslim—SO MANY women and children bear the brunt of preachers telling sisters to leave their education and career to raise kids (like both parents didn’t make them) and then are left without ways to support themselves when it gets real.
These preachers and community members, many of whom live comfortably off of generational wealth and other resources—WILL NOT be there when Sister Fulana gets older, has no pension, no social security, and no husband. There are material consequences to this theology.
Theological notions of gender, family, work, sustenance must be filtered through the raced, classed, & political contexts in which you have to move. The folks preaching about “pious” family organization have simply hidden their assumptions & privileges, but they’re there.
Not to mention lol “your strength and leadership won’t make you attractive to any man”—like wasn’t Sayyiduna Aisha one of the most dynamic intellects in Islamic history and lead a whole army and still managed to attract the best man in creation ﷺ? Y’all play too much.
It’s important to add to the immediately preceding tweet—as a woman, my purpose in life is not to attract a man. Sheesh.
Anyway. There’s more to unpack here that’s highly problematic, but I’ll save it for another day Insha’Allah. Bottom line: don’t let the piety discourse obscure the racism, sexism, classism, embedded in your favorite preacher’s theological instructions. The end.
