Here’s where I differ from many of the people begging younger folks to serve as pollworkers: I’m asking you to serve alongside me. I’m not asking you to serve so that I don’t have to.

Adults have to make sacrifices, but that doesn’t mean the youth of America have to be the sacrificial offering. If you’re 25-65 and you aren’t willing to risk your health to be a pollworker yourself, sit the **** down.

I think teenagers are pretty cool,and I’d love to teach some junior ballot fairies all of my Masonic election secrets that I’ve learned over time. But I’d rather risk my own health than risk theirs or risk the health of the elderly pollworkers.

Here’s where I got radicalized: I have a book inspector who has Parkinson’s, needs a walker, and never owned a computer. She spent 2 days in the lab, to complete her online training. Most people only need 2-4 hours and can do it at home.

Anyway, this woman came in, and all the point and click stuff was very new to her. I’m teaching her how to use a mouse and how to do drag and drop. Parkinson’s tremors and operating your first ever computer mouse aren’t easy.

To her everlasting credit, she did not give up, complain, or start a mutiny in the lab. After almost 7 hours over two days, she got through the modules and passed the test. I asked her how she felt. She said working Election Day made it worth the trouble.

I help her retrieve her walker and we go to the door. She thanked me for being so nice to her and helping her with the door, because she’d had heart surgery two weeks ago and was a little shaky.

She thanked ME.

I return to the empty concrete lobby and try not to scream. Nobody should feel like they need to run the risk of contracting COVID a few weeks after heart surgery.

You want patriotism? That ‘s patriotism.

The last few labs have brought similar tales. And every time, my elderly, medically fragile pollworkers smile and say how happy they are to serve on Election Day. They mean it, too.

The thought of losing any of my pollworkers to COVID-19 causes me to wake up at 4:30 am screaming. I’d rather have a skeleton crew and eat the risk myself.

People clamor for the chance to be an unpaid volunteer on a political campaign (where 30% are doomed to fail before there’s even an election) but don’t want to be a pollworker, which pays, and there’s a 100% chance the election happens.

You will learn more about voter behavior, customer service, IT troubleshooting,traffic control, and how government actually works by being a pollworker than any other sector of the election ecosphere.

If you wish to improve the system, it wouldn’t hurt to witness the inner workings of the system first.

Something, something, learn the rules before breaking them...