Read on Twitter
When working with others, I've found it helpful to make the initial assumption that their minds work in “low-power mode”.
This initial assumption is revised if there is evidence to the contrary.
This initial assumption is revised if there is evidence to the contrary.
In my experience, it is rarely necessary to revise the “low-power mode” assumption about other minds, but YMMV.
In programming, as in life, things are easier if the first branch of a conditional captures the majority of cases.
In programming, as in life, things are easier if the first branch of a conditional captures the majority of cases.
“Low-power mode” is descriptive, *not* proscriptive.
We utilize emotional intelligence, recognize the situation, and adapt how we act and communicate.
Flexible responses to fluid circumstances.
We utilize emotional intelligence, recognize the situation, and adapt how we act and communicate.
Flexible responses to fluid circumstances.
Assuming that others operate above “low-power mode” is problematic, with consequences for them, us, and society.
Simple example: the poor way in which information about COVID continues to be communicated, half a year on.
Simple example: the poor way in which information about COVID continues to be communicated, half a year on.
Some will argue that referring to other beings as operating in “low-power mode” is unkind, even elitist.
I counter that not adjusting action and communication to the level of the majority of people lacks love, compassion, and kindness.
I counter that not adjusting action and communication to the level of the majority of people lacks love, compassion, and kindness.
On social media, some display hostility towards LPM people, casting aspersions upon them, referring to them as idiots, uneducated, etc.
They could, instead, display kindness, acceptance, and enjoy helping another understand according to their ability.
They could, instead, display kindness, acceptance, and enjoy helping another understand according to their ability.
For me, this begins by applying my awareness practice, especially the human tendency to assume that other minds:
- work like mine
- enjoy what I enjoy
- learn the way I learn, etc.
- work like mine
- enjoy what I enjoy
- learn the way I learn, etc.
My bother is a LPM person. He will call, ask about COVID, masks, something he saw on the news.
If I respond to his questions in ex-biochemist mode, it will puff my ego, but it won't help him understand & act to protect himself and his family.
If I respond to his questions in ex-biochemist mode, it will puff my ego, but it won't help him understand & act to protect himself and his family.
Rather, I need to recall that my brother is LPM, prone to forget what I told him the last time he asked the same question, etc.
Here is where things get tricky.
You want to be kind, but you want others to respect your time.
If you don't establish boundaries, watch out.
Here is where things get tricky.
You want to be kind, but you want others to respect your time.
If you don't establish boundaries, watch out.
Working with others with kindness, respect, and compassion is exactly that.
It does *not*, however, entail assuming the role of the martyr.
Help, educate, share your talent, but don't do the work for them.
It does *not*, however, entail assuming the role of the martyr.
Help, educate, share your talent, but don't do the work for them.
I call the middle ground “pointing”.
E.g., if my brother asks about masks, I will kindly provide a brief summary of the consensus on masks as I understand it.
I then follow up by pointing him to resources.
E.g., if my brother asks about masks, I will kindly provide a brief summary of the consensus on masks as I understand it.
I then follow up by pointing him to resources.
Explain briefly, then point.
Give someone a small fish, then show them how you learned to fish.
“Google this article, it has helpful diagrams. If you have questions, text me.”
Give someone a small fish, then show them how you learned to fish.
“Google this article, it has helpful diagrams. If you have questions, text me.”
The extreme stances are:
- dismiss/ignore
- engage in excessive helpfulness (which can overwhelm/smother a LPM person).
The middle path is
- engage lightly
- point them to resources
- observe whether they have understood and followed up on your suggestions
- dismiss/ignore
- engage in excessive helpfulness (which can overwhelm/smother a LPM person).
The middle path is
- engage lightly
- point them to resources
- observe whether they have understood and followed up on your suggestions
Re-evaluate the situation & modulate your actions accordingly.
E.g., if someone doesn't follow up on your resource suggestions, it could be that some other dynamic is at play.
Don't bang your head against the wall.
You can help others.
You cannot fix others.
E.g., if someone doesn't follow up on your resource suggestions, it could be that some other dynamic is at play.
Don't bang your head against the wall.
You can help others.
You cannot fix others.
An inability to help someone help himself is not a failure on your part.
All origination is interdependent.
Try, assess, and decide whether to
- continue engaging with the other
- withdrawing, saving your energy
All origination is interdependent.
Try, assess, and decide whether to
- continue engaging with the other
- withdrawing, saving your energy
As I have said here many times, compassion/kindness can entail withdrawing from a situation.
Sometimes, someone has to stew in their suffering for a while before deciding they're tired and want to try something else.
Sometimes, someone has to stew in their suffering for a while before deciding they're tired and want to try something else.
When we love someone, we can over-intervene, cheating them of the dark night experience that can bring about the resolve to change.
Be good to others by being good to yourself.
Exercise self-care, establish boundaries, re-charge your batteries, and avoid burnout.
Much love as always.
Exercise self-care, establish boundaries, re-charge your batteries, and avoid burnout.
Much love as always.
