I think that everyone - neurotypical or neurodivergent - should consider how hard parenting might be before becoming a parent. That doesn’t mean “reconsider it!!”. It means... think about how hard it might be?

Your kid isn’t a blank slate. They come with their own personhood and they might be disabled or sick or divergent or visibly different. Parenting a healthy, typical child is difficult. Parenting an atypical child is often more difficult.

Being a parent to my autistic kid is really REALLY hard. And in some ways my ND brain helps and in other ways it makes it even harder.

And it’s not like anyone can be fully prepared for their kid - because you don’t know your kid before they exist! But...

Yeah I’d thought about it. I’d thought about whether my kid might be autistic, have ADHD, have a chronic illness or disability. And thought about how each of those things might be specifically difficult for me and my family and our situation as a defence family.

And thinking about those things didn’t make us decide to not have a kid? They were just things to think about and take into account and realise were possibilities and that we couldn’t pretend to be fully prepared for what might happen.

I know it isn’t always but becoming a parent should be a deliberate choice! Not something you only get to opt out if you have a good enough reason. If think “woah!! Sounds like it might be WAY too hard and I don’t want to do that” then that’s... good!

You can’t take a mulligan if you don’t get an easy child.