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A thing about me that I think might be common to ADHD neurotypes is that the concept of internally-justified self-worth is utterly, absolutely foreign to me. I cannot imagine trusting my own judgement about myself to the degree that any value judgement I made could ever be valid.
I am being reminded again of this tonight (predictably, almost boringly painfully) and trying to comprehend How Other People Do It. But it's the same level of unfathomable that "remembering to do things without an external aid" is.
I think some of this is that you feel gaslit the entire time growing up. People are constantly telling you you did something that you don't remember doing, or you didn't do something you could have sworn you did, or said/didn't say something, etc. It makes your decisions seem
consistently, constantly groundless, and like no one, not even yourself, can count on you.
It is an incredibly powerful mindfuck.
It is an incredibly powerful mindfuck.
So partially as a result of this, it's utterly baffling to me when people say things like "hey, don't take rejection personally!"
I literally cannot put myself in the shoes of a person who could manage NOT to take rejection as an objective statement of their lack of human worth.
I literally cannot put myself in the shoes of a person who could manage NOT to take rejection as an objective statement of their lack of human worth.
This is every kind of rejection, mind you -- romantic, professional, friendship, etc. There was one time that getting fired more or less destroyed me for a solid three months. I was an inconsolable wreck.
Grok is wise: this is part of the reason I've been able to put some of this into words better these days: https://twitter.com/grok___/status/1286540443321167873
Anyway, I just want people to know that if they often feel like this, they are not alone. 
