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Me: So I watched #IndianMatchmaking and did not hate it so here's a thread on it...
Me: So I watched #IndianMatchmaking and did not hate it so here's a thread on it...
Of course it (arranged marriage) is a system that is an expression of caste patriarchy (marriage in general also). Of course statements like “she is too short” and many many more hark to a deeply regressive system, an idea of woman as baby producing machine ++ ("cattle market")
What were people expecting? I don't get the hate. Why is this offensive? And not Unbelievable or Pataal Lok or other “realistic” bullshit. This is a reality, AND there are other realities. Who is living in a fantasy, us or them?
The women in IM might be seeking an arranged marriage, but have so much more going for them than the representation of women in realistic shows or Bollywood films (guess what they’re there for: sexual gratification or sexual violence, yawn).
I can understand it is triggering. For those who have been subjected to this system, it must be hell. But this is an indication and an expose of how damaging the pressure of the Indian caste-ist and sexist Indian arranged marriage is.
And I cannot be the only one reading the show like this (as an expose): the existence of so many memes and a fake Twitter account for Sima (‘from Mumbai’, the eponymous matchmaker) makes this clear! I mean, look at this one.
By watching or commenting on or engaging with Indian Matchmaking – are we endorsing it? Do we endorse what we watch?
If there is a problem, it is the absence of a clear critique+a segment that presents “arranged marriages” that have stood the test of time, yada yada. Even then one of the women asks her husband why he is introducing her because she can introduce herself! (Sigh.Marriage/men)
The problem is sexuality is avoided like the plague (or… Covid-19). Incredible how silent the show is on this. But our problem with the show cannot be the problem with IndianMatchmaking as a system in itself - it exists. Like dating, Tinder etc. etc. so many ways to "Couple"
But honestly, at the end of the show, all I was left with was more empathy for these “creatures” (and they do seem like creatures, coz they seem so removed from our world). They make bad choices. They seek validation. They play good girl/ good boy. They succumb to the patriarchy
I also left with a raw acknowledgement of people’s desire to “couple” in any way possible. And maybe this is the heartbreaking bit of it.
#IndianMatchmaking maybe I need to think it through more... is it a horror of a show or a mirror? Over and out.
Can I really leave without mention of that one line on the anxiety in society. “Marriages are breaking like biscuits.” ( #SimaAunty)
