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All this talk of languages reminds me of my old French teachers, Miss Stratford and Miss Peel. They had both taught my mother in the late 40s/50s when my school was a grammar school. Miss Stratford was stern with a limp and a moustache. Always wore a tweed skirt.....
...Miss Peel was almost albino, with an alarmingly voluptuous figure which she clothed in pink fluffy jumpers and full skirts with a nipped in waist. As far as we could ascertain, neither of them actually spoke French.....or so we thought........
....Miss Stratford was a stickler for grammar and, as a stern disciplinarian, made sure we learnt the basics. The grammar crept up on us bit by bit. There was the awful shock of the subjunctive and the grim realisation that the French had a past tense they kept just for books!...
....Miss Peel had no control at all. She would stare out of the window while talking in vague terms about Le Grand Meaulnes while a small riot broke out around her. I remember one day when she first taught me (this went on for years) she suddenly stopped and said.....
....”2B, your behaviour is, deplorable...disgusting..despicable “. To my shame, I imitated her doing that for years after. We never ever spoke French until our O level exam year when we had a few sessions with a rather nice Algerian student called, rather improbably, Bébé......
....We all fancied him like mad. Anyway, after O levels, I still hadn’t heard Miss Peel speak French until one day, in our A level class, a strange man appeared in the classroom. It was an INSPECTOR!!
Miss Peel ushered us into the room and invited us to asseyez-vous......
Miss Peel ushered us into the room and invited us to asseyez-vous......
...We all looked at each other. Then she started up again “Bonjour, mes enfants. Maintenant, ouvrez vos livres etc etc”. We’d barely heard French spoken by anyone, let alone her. The inspector cannot have missed the look of incredulity that came over our faces.....
....Anyway, this is why I can tell you all about Molière but am unable to do much more than order a coffee in France. C’est dommage!
