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i've been thinking a lot lately about the ways capitalist messaging filters almost invisibly into emotional scripts.
from childhood, i received the message that the best thing i could be was THE BEST. that was the ultimate goal: to be THE BEST at whatever i was doing 1/
from childhood, i received the message that the best thing i could be was THE BEST. that was the ultimate goal: to be THE BEST at whatever i was doing 1/
i was taught to compare myself. scores on tests, reading group placement, speed at which i ran the mile, number of construction paper valentines i received from classmates, percentile rankings on state-wide standardized tests.
and that was just elementary school 2/
and that was just elementary school 2/
at home, my parents also compared me. they meant it as the ultimate compliment, bc to them, being THE BEST was always the implicit goal.
"i liked your science project best"
"your painting was the best one"
"you were the best in the play" 3/
"i liked your science project best"
"your painting was the best one"
"you were the best in the play" 3/
most of the BEST-ing was, i'm sure, just parental pride. but because it was said to me as if it were the highest compliment my parents could give, i believed that being the best was the implicit goal. why else would it be such a compliment?! 4/
by third or fourth grade, i had learned that the best thing to be was the best, and so that's what i tried to be.
but since THE BEST was taught to me as something that i was in competition for with other people, it meant that being THE BEST including being BETTER than others 5/
but since THE BEST was taught to me as something that i was in competition for with other people, it meant that being THE BEST including being BETTER than others 5/
which is different than, say, doing the best that i was capable of. framed this way, and taken to its logical conclusion, THE BEST is a constant state of trying to subjugate other people to achieve your goals. 6/
i went on to college, then graduate school, & academia agreed: being THE BEST was for sure the best thing you could be! it meant you got the fellowships and the funding; it meant you got published and got one of the very few jobs you were in heavy competition for 7/
perhaps it's no surprise to learn, then, that my parents had also come through that academic system; & no surprise they passed its values on to me
by the time i finished my phd, my brain was so wired with the message that THE BEST was the goal that i couldn't think outside it 8/
by the time i finished my phd, my brain was so wired with the message that THE BEST was the goal that i couldn't think outside it 8/
when i started writing, i imported this mode of thinking. and, hey, guess what? it turns out publishing has all of its own ways to uphold THE BESTness. sales rankings and goodreads stars and best-of lists and advance amounts and promo budgets and word counts and cash. 9/
what does any of this have to do with capitalism?
competition is the ultimate capitalist mentality. it is necessary for capitalism to thrive unchecked, because it's predicated on the notion that consumers are always making choices and you want to be the choice they make. 10/
competition is the ultimate capitalist mentality. it is necessary for capitalism to thrive unchecked, because it's predicated on the notion that consumers are always making choices and you want to be the choice they make. 10/
publishing, of course, is a business, so naturally it wants to perpetuate capitalist BESTness.
academia, it turns out, is a business too, and the currency is matriculation dollars and how many of them you contribute to attracting. 11/
academia, it turns out, is a business too, and the currency is matriculation dollars and how many of them you contribute to attracting. 11/
over the last 8 years, since i left academia, the thing i've worked the hardest at was UNLEARNING that THE BEST is the best thing you can be.
it's meaningless, first of all, not to mention unprovable. but more importantly, it leaves no room for anything but competition 12/
it's meaningless, first of all, not to mention unprovable. but more importantly, it leaves no room for anything but competition 12/
it leaves no room for joy or discovery; no room for mutual appreciation or admiration or the lessons learned by failure.
THE BEST needs hierarchy & elimination. THE BEST is singular & therefore lonely. THE BEST wants your friends to be not the best so that you can be. 13/
THE BEST needs hierarchy & elimination. THE BEST is singular & therefore lonely. THE BEST wants your friends to be not the best so that you can be. 13/
THE BEST is temporary and requires you to keep trying to achieve it over and over and over and over and ...
the opposite of THE BEST is not THE WORST.
the opposite of THE BEST is EVERYTHING. 14/
the opposite of THE BEST is not THE WORST.
the opposite of THE BEST is EVERYTHING. 14/
once we let go of the goal of THE BEST (which, by the way is only ONE goal—who wants to shoot for the same singular goal their whole damn life???) there is room for EVERYTHING ELSE. 15/
outside THE BEST is admiration, appreciation, awe of other people and other work. outside it is taking risks and failing and learning and resiliency. outside it is coexistence and sharing. respect and mutual support. 16/
THE BEST is determined by what society values. in a racist, ableist, white supremacist, queerphobic society, the competition for THE BEST will ALWAYS skew in favor of those who conform (or seem to conform) to its values
why would we want to win a competition w those rules? 17/
why would we want to win a competition w those rules? 17/
outside THE BEST, there is WONDERFUL and SCARY, CHALLENGING and RADICAL. there is space for everything because there is not the need for competition or hierarchy. 18/
shifting THE BEST out of our goal space does not mean we get leveling or sameness. instead, it means we get proliferation & abundance. 19/
i've been working on stripping THE BEST out of my vocabulary too. i don't need to say a book is THE BEST i've read all month. it doesn't mean anything, really, and it perpetuates the notion that THE BEST is the ultimate goal.
20/20
20/20
