So: my ERC starting grant came within a few percent points of being funded, but was ultimately rejected due to insufficient funds being available. Having spent the last 24 hours digesting the news, here is my positive (yes, really) take (in no particular order):

1. I would like to thank the 8 (!) referees for taking the time to read my proposal and provide constructive and unbiased comments. Sure, I might not agree with all of them, but overall it was incredibly rewarding to read that my research ideas were met with enthusiasm.

2. Despite not being funded, it was worth the effort! Preparing the grant was incredibly helpful to structure my research projects and some aspects have since become reality in my lab. This is largely because while writing I took the time to think through the experimental design.

3. I reached my goal for this year, which was making it to step 2! I have another chance to apply next year and the feedback I received provides clear indications for how to improve for next year's application! Again, thanks to all the critical (positive + negative) comments.

4. I could not have asked for a better general assessment on the scientific part: "the purpose of the research was highly relevant", "provides results beyond state-of-the-art" and "a strong high-risk high-gain element in the project." This show that I am on the right track!

5. I fell "slightly" short when it came to "showing a strong track-record as independent researcher". While I naturally do not fully agree with this comment, I can live with it. I only started my lab in 2018 and I am confident we can build a stronger profile until the next call!

6. Thanks to all the people, who helped me writing a competitive grant. Receiving feedback from colleagues and friends was instrumental in the process. Last but not least: Congratulations to all awardees this year! Well done! I know how much work you put into your applications!