i’m so obsessed with the idea that some people genuinely believe that there’s general pressure on bi women to “perform” GENUINE homosexuality, let alone “over perform” it

you know what the hardest part was for me as a prev. bi non-man? not convincing people that i was still bi (bc quite frankly i didn’t give a fuck) — it was experiencing misdirected lesbophobia. it was realising how much people did /not/ want me dating non-men, dating women

and how far people were willing to go to punish me for even thinking about dating women bc what they wanted was to fetishise my interactions with women, while retaining ownership over those experiences.

they wanted to see me fuck women, but they didn’t wanna see me love them

bc love for women as a non-man, as a woman, is seen as a threat. if i start loving women - genuinely, openly, deeply exploring how much i can love and be loved by non men, incl women - maybe i’ll realise ... i don’t need men. and then, that i don’t /want/ men

and where does that leave men? i’m not at the top of my priorities, not at the top of my concerns, and it means that i can discover who i am beyond the scope of what men want from me and for me. i can learn to be a person without thinking about how to shape that person for men

so! to all those bi women who find it ~ so easy ~ date and love men but feel they could *never* date a woman; who find it so hard to try and date women — i really need you to sit down, consider why the fuck that is and start looking at the world honestly.

and stop treating other women, and non men in general, like they should inherently be comfortable with just wanting to be fucked by you but never loved because jfc if you can’t see how deeply dehumanising that is, maybe you should just. stay away from non-men til u figure it out

*ignore the “i’m” before not at the top of my priorities.....

also! if this thread taught you something...... u can always tip the nice non binary lesbian who made it <3 http://ko-fi.com/bitterbleue