When I was younger and still in the closet, I made a mental note of all the people who made negative comments about the LGBTQ+ community. They weren’t safe people for me to come out to. I started withdrawing from those relationships.

When the time came for me to come out, I started by telling the people who had only had positive things to say about people like me.

Y’all, your LGBTQ+ friends do this. Your friends with mental health diagnoses do this. Your friends who question their faith do this. Your friends who have had abortions do this. Your friends who live outside the norm do this.

Before I received my official diagnosis, someone I trusted (and someone in healthcare) told me it wasn’t a real diagnosis. That this lived experience, documented by experts, wasn't real. I checked out of that friendship and have not told them about my health challenges.

Before you speak negatively about a group of people or an experience that you don’t understand, please consider who might be listening. Consider how your words might cause them to lose trust in you.

Consider how your words might hurt them. Consider that what feels like a passing thought to you might stick with someone for years. Might cause them to question all of the other relationships in their life. Might cause them to question their own reality, their lived experience.

And maybe...instead of disregarding those you don’t understand...maybe try to be curious instead.