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ONE LIKE = ONE INSULT OF A DISTRIBUTION https://twitter.com/ChelseaParlett/status/1286032700281720832
ONE LIKE = ONE INSULT OF A DISTRIBUTION https://twitter.com/ChelseaParlett/status/1286032700281720832
NEGATIVE BINOMIAL: You are neither negative nor binomial. Get a better name
POISSON: You are the frictionless spherical cow of distributions
F DISTRIBUTION: Your inventor was a real asshole
NORMAL: In the real world, height is normally distributed. Just about everything else is LOG-NORMAL.
BERNOULLI: Your support is literally two numbers
DIRAC: You make Bernoulli’s support look good
CAUCHY: You literally don't have a mean, variance, skewness, or kurtosis? What are you even doing here? Get bent
BINOMIAL: "Sum of Bernoullis" is not a personality. Do better
POWER LAW: Are you an engineer who hasn't heard of the log-normal?
Are you in a meeting where you want to say "this is often small but can sometimes be big?"
Just say "power law!"
Are you in a meeting where you want to say "this is often small but can sometimes be big?"
Just say "power law!"
EXPONENTIAL: I hear you're memoryless?
Bet you'll remember this:
You stink
Bet you'll remember this:
You stink
GAMMA: Even CAUCHY has a median, ffs
BETA: You're good
MIXTURE OF NORMALS: Nobody likes a fence-sitter. Pick a mode and STICK TO IT
BETA-BINOMIAL: The only thing worse than a mixture is a continuous mixture. What the hell man
STUDENT'S T DISTRIBUTION: If you're so great, why did your inventor go all Alan Smithee on you. Burn
WISHART: "The GAMMA is so useful, we should generalize it to multiple dimensions" said no one ever
INVERSE-WISHART: When the WISHART isn't esoteric enough for you, take a long hard look at your life
GEOMETRIC: You literally have an off-by-one error in your definition and now we're all paying the price
I'm not even tired
CHI-SQUARED: Ffs how many eugenicists can one field have
CONWAY-MAXWELL-POISSON: It took THREE PEOPLE to come up with this?
UNIFORM: You're the Diet LaCroix of distributions
HALF-NORMAL: Ooh, you took the normal and cut it in half, you sure earned your tenure today
FOLDED NORMAL DISTRIBUTION: Somebody saw the HALF-NORMAL and was like "I can get at least three more papers out of this"
WEIBULL: More like WEIBULLSHIT, am I right?
Yes, yes, WEIBULLSHIT, this is the highbrow statistical content my followers come for
HYPEREXPONENTIAL: Your name contains two synonyms for "fast", you have zero chill
LOG-CAUCHY: Your mean is infinite.
Your variance is infinite.
Your median is about 3.
What the actual fuck
Your variance is infinite.
Your median is about 3.
What the actual fuck
CATEGORICAL: "Pick a card, any card" does not need a 3000-word Wikipedia entry
BENFORD: So you tell me 1 appears more often in leading digits than you'd expect by chance
Take a guess what leading digit I'd rate you out of 10
Take a guess what leading digit I'd rate you out of 10
LOG-LOGISTIC: Statisticians are literally the "Have you tried logarithms?" guy from XKCD
PARETO: You're the LOG-NORMAL for jocks
FRÉCHET: You're the LOG-NORMAL for nerds
BURR: You're the LOG-NORMAL for nerdy economists
LÉVY: You're the LOG-NORMAL for jock-ey chemists
TRUNCATED NORMAL: You make the folks who invented the FOLDED NORMAL look busy
LOMAX: Stop trying to make the PARETO happen! It's not going to happen!
SKELLAM: If the POISSON is a frictionless spherical cow, the SKELLAM is a frictionless spherical cow in a vacuum at sea level
GENERALIZED NORMAL: You know that sophomore philosophy major who shows up in a Reddit thread saying "Well [your field] is really just a special case of philosophy"?
That's you
![GENERALIZED NORMAL: You know that sophomore philosophy major who shows up in a Reddit thread saying "Well [your field] is really just a special case of philosophy"?That's you](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EdkI-M6WsAAgWBU.png "GENERALIZED NORMAL: You know that sophomore philosophy major who shows up in a Reddit thread saying \"Well [your field] is really just a special case of philosophy\"?That's you")
That's you
EVERYONE TELLING ME TO DO THE DIRICHLET NEXT: No
CANTOR: Even the log-Cauchy had a probability density. How do you exist
ERLANG: “Special” case of the GAMMA my ass
I’ve cleaned stuff out of my lint tray that’s more special than you
I’ve cleaned stuff out of my lint tray that’s more special than you
Applied statistician: [sobbing] You can’t just put “log-“ in front of a distribution and pretend it’s a new distribution!
Mathematical statisician: [points at LAPLACE] LOG-LAPLACE
Mathematical statisician: [points at LAPLACE] LOG-LAPLACE
MAXWELL-BOLTZMANN: I'll just keep my mouth shut, I can't afford this beef
This is the Suge Knight of distributions
This is the Suge Knight of distributions
SKEW-NORMAL: Got a brand new stats degree
Analyzing your first dataset
It’s not NORMAL
Maybe the solution is to add some skew?
(It isn’t)
(The solution is LOG-NORMAL)
Analyzing your first dataset
It’s not NORMAL
Maybe the solution is to add some skew?
(It isn’t)
(The solution is LOG-NORMAL)
ZERO-INFLATED NEGATIVE BINOMIAL: It's 3 AM, you've got a presentation in the morning, and your count data is really, really overdispersed
If ZINB starts looking good to you, go to sleep
If ZINB starts looking good to you, go to sleep
HYPERGEOMETRIC: If I sample you you can bet I’ll be doing some replacement
Boom, roasted
Boom, roasted
RADEMACHER: Somebody looked at the BERNOULLI and was like "whoa too complicated"
DIRICHLET-MULTINOMIAL Everything about you is extra
