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i read a book some weeks ago where the writer equated sharing relational issues with friends, to gossiping. his reason was: our narration of events will be biased to support our verdicts and in these, our partners are primarily disadvantaged by their absence
@polina_marinova’s newsletter this week, was a collation of about 100 advices from readers for her new marriage (btw, congratulations!) and one person said:
more imminent than the excitement of learning something new, was the feeling of guilt for all the times I have done this without weighing the consequences
my takeaway from this isn’t just about badmouthing your partner but ultimately having a better mindset about conflicts. i suck at handling conflicts - i can go from total indifference to raining hell on earth
the longer it takes to resolve conflicts, the more upset i get and in the interim, i find solace in over sharing with my friends. (which truthfully, doesn’t yield much results other than getting my ego throbbed)
idk the right ways to handle conflicts apart from being ready the forgive immediately you notice you’re offended lmao. which is tough bc it’ll take a lot of humility and maturity, may God epp us 
see also: Luke 17:4
incase you’re interested: https://theprofile.substack.com/p/100-couples-share-their-secrets-to
