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growing up i wasn't given the opportunity to freely speak or express myself so in most cases, i lacked effective communication skills. with that being said, i noticed in relationships i'd seek partners that would give me what i wanted and needed without me having to express it.
i would want or expect people to just know. i would expect them to understand the things i didn't say or share. sometimes, i didn't know what i wanted or needed myself because i was taught my wants, needs, and feelings didn't matter so i never had time to process them.
this caused me to have unrealistic expectations. expecting partners or friends to meet my wants and needs because they "know" me, but people only know what you tell them. in my case, that wasn't much. so when people didn't meet the expectations i set in my head, i'd get—
disappointed and call them a bad person. i realized that sometimes people mistreated me because they were a bad person, but other times i was mistreated because i didn't voice how i wanted to be treated so people would do what they would think is best.
i noticed with my twin flame that i would get frustrated with her because she would always have expectations for me yet never express to me how she wants to be loved. she would get mad at me for doing the same thing as well. i remember her asking me a lot—
"what do you want from me?" or "what do you want me to do?" when i'd get mad at her for doing something wrong. i remember i used to ask her "how do i need to change?" "what do you want?" as well if i did wrong. i realized that she probably didn't know how to expresss what she—
wanted or needed because she was never loved properly, and she was taught to repress her feelings too. we both mirrored this bad habit honestly, so it makes sense why we had communication problems. we both were trying to do something we didn't know how to do & projected those—
frustrations onto eachother. this is why communication, learning about childhood trauma, and self awareness is so important in relationships. friendships too. so i highly advise learning your love languages and learning your partner's love languages. it'll help you understand—
and express how you want/need to be loved, and help you understand how they want/need to be loved. being in separation with my twin has helped me realize a lot about myself, and also improve the relationships/friendships i have with others. i'm learning to express what i want—
and need, and letting things go from there. rather than, not saying nothing at all and cutting people off when they make a mistake knowing i didn't express that mistake was something i didn't like. if you express what you need, and nobody meets your needs. it'll ease your-
mind of knowing that if something didn't work out. it wasn't because of you. sometimes we have to take responsibility for what we failed to do as well, and find a way to avoid getting in situations where people do us wrong all the time. it won't happen, if we don't allow it.
being aware of you want and need also helps with what and who you allow into your energy. it's easier to protect yourself that way. so learn to use that throat chakra and speak up.
