1/
#LevityintheTimeofCOVID

Grady Hospital, July 2018

Me: “You okay?”
Her: *frowning* "I feel like I'm laying on top of something. Like a pebble or something."
Me: *squinting my eyes*
Her: "I looked all under me but it ain't nothing there."
Me: "Hmmm. Let me look closer."

2/
I sat her up and inspected the bed sheets. A wayward EKG lead perhaps? Nope.

What I found:

1. A flattened piece of scrambled egg (which I did remove).
2. Nothing else.

Her: "You see something I ain't see?"
Me: *shrug* "No ma'am."
Her: *groan* "No?!"

3/
Her: "But. . .I feel it right by my shoulder blade right here."

She squirmed and contorted her arm to reach the area. I flashed a light on her back for a closer look.

Her: “I swear I ain’t crazy. I feel it soon as I lay back!”
Me: "I'm looking but I don't see anything."

4/
Me: “I just don't---ooooh. . . . hold up.”

*gasp*

Her: *swinging around to look at my face* "What?"
Me: “Oooooh snaaaap.”
Her: “What?! What is it?!”
Me: “Umm . . . it’s . . .uh. . it’s . . . ooooh weee.”
Her: *shuddering* “Is it a . . .bug?”
Me: “A BUG? No!”

*laughter*

5/
Me: *holding my side laughing*
Her: *eyes widening* "Then what is it, Dr Manning!?"

*silence*

Me: *leaning in* “It's a . . . umm. . big. . .uhh. . . a big A blackhead."
Her:

*laughter*

Her: "Wait what? Did you say 'a big A blackhead?'"
Me: "Yep."

*laughter*

6/
Her: "Oh Lawd! Ugggh!"
Me: *raising eyebrows* "Want me to bust it?"
Her: *looks at me in horror* "Bust it?"
Me: "Yeah!"

*silence*

Her: "I have a big A blackhead-- big enough to feel like I'm lying on . . . a rock?”

*silence*

Her: "Lawd. I'm 'bout to pass out."

7/
Me: "Maybe you're a princess."
Her: "A who?”
Me: “Like in the fairy tale.”

*covering her face*

Her: “PLEASE tell me you’re lying about this big A blackhead, Dr. Manning.”
Me: *grabbing gloves* “Nope. And I am SO about to bust this sucker."
Her: "Dr. Manning!"

*laughter*

8/
Her: "Lord have mercy. You really gon' bust this big A blackhead on my back?"
Me: "OH yeah." *pretends to crack knuckles*
Her: "Seriously?"
Me: "Only if you want me to. Although I may need to call OB for some back up."
Her:

We were nearly out of breath from laughing.

9/
Her: "Is it a rule that you can't say big ASS blackhead?"
Me: "I'm probably not even supposed to say 'big A'."
Her: "I want you to put that in my chart--just like that. 'Diagnosis: Big A blackhead.'"
Me: "Nooo!"

*more laughter*

Me: "Okay. Lean forward." *cleans off area*

10/
Me: “Oh snap! This thing is crowning!” *pressing gauze* "Whoooooaaaaaa."
Her: *gasping* "Dr. Maaaannniiiiing! Is it gross?"

*laughing*

Her: "Show me. Wait! No--don't! Wait! No--show me!" *flapping hands and cringing* "Wait! Don't!" *fake crying* "Look--I have goose bumps!"

11/
Me: "I need to send this thing to the nursery to be weighed."
Her:

I folded gauze into my glove and disposed of it.

Her: *shaking head* "Wait ‘til I tell my husband ‘bout my doctor busting a big A blackhead on my back!"
Me: "He probably saw it before I did.”
Her:

10/
Her: "Hey--I almost forgot. Remind me of the princess story."
Me: "‘The Princess and the Pea.’ Remember that one?"
Her: "Was it about a big A blackhead on her back?"

*laughter*

Nurse: *walking in* "Okay! Y'all are having way too much fun in here!"

Which was true.

11/
After that I caught her up on a few more of our plans. Then I told her the story of the Princess and the Pea which she said she'd never heard but very much liked.

And that was it.

The entire exchange took <3 minutes--max. Comedone extraction included.

Yup.

12/
Some of the best advice I ever got as an intern was this:

"Let nothing be beneath you."

Which I always remembered. I'll also add this:

Don't let anyone tell you that there's not enough time to be human. Because there always is.

Always.

Got that, interns?

13/
That day I popped a giant blackhead on a shoulder blade, tightened some cornrows on a patient's hair, bought a very nice non-diabetic patient an ice cold Coke in a red can, and even had a heated debate on who was the #dopest: Judge Judy or Judge Ginsberg.

*sigh*

Yup.

14/
And you know? None of those things had anything to do with ANY of the reasons those patients were hospitalized.

But.

ALL of them had to do with helping a patient feel better.
Which is always the goal, right?

Right.

#findthefun #busyisaliar #iwasteamRBG