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NON POLITICAL TWEET 
Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous. (Sir Winston Churchill loved them):
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
@RealJamesWoods
@RPDOTCOMPAGE
Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous. (Sir Winston Churchill loved them):
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
@RealJamesWoods
@RPDOTCOMPAGE
2) 2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you ...but it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up - we only learn how to act in public.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up - we only learn how to act in public.
3) 6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
4) 9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of an emergency, notify.." I answered "a doctor."
11. Women will never be equal to men until...
10. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of an emergency, notify.." I answered "a doctor."
11. Women will never be equal to men until...
5)...they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
13. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
14. To be sure of hitting the target...
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
13. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
14. To be sure of hitting the target...
6)...shoot first & call whatever you hit the target
15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
17. I'm supposed to respect my elders...
15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
17. I'm supposed to respect my elders...
7) ...but it's getting harder & harder for me to find someone older than me.
This one's for Old Man Marley from Old Lady Ruby...
@_OldManMarley_
This one's for Old Man Marley from Old Lady Ruby...
@_OldManMarley_
