I want to tell you a story.

Like so many out there, I've spent a lot of my life trying to juggle the intersection of imposter syndrome & labels, particularly where "artist" topics apply. I've been creative for as long as I can remember, always driven to learn & try new things.-

- But at the same time, if you asked me what I was doing at any given time, there was usually a caveat. If I was writing, I was quick to add "but that's a passion project. I'm not trying to quite my day job." If I was working on sets in film/TV and you asked about my art, -

- I would be thrilled to tell you all about what I was doing, but would quickly add, "But those are just personal projects." Ask about my sculptures? Paintings? "Oh, I love doing those! But they're just a side hustle." I'm realizing more and more that somehow, I felt compelled -

- to always remind people, & myself, that these things I loved were somehow less valuable because they weren't the primary source of my earnings (if earnings at all). Likewise, there are incredible communities out there that I lurk on the fringes of because, for whatever reason,-

- I tell myself that I don't belong because in someone's eyes, my contributions could be construed as lesser because I haven't earned the pedigree or success others have. "Maybe," I tell myself, "If you're ever successful, like them, they will feel more like peers." -

- Now I realize that much of this is all in my head. The idea of what "success" means varies from one person to another, and it's unrealistic to expect there's any set litmus test to gauge it. In fact, I've definitely had my fair share of people praise me for what they perceived-

- as my "success" when I was feeling anything but. Mostly, I feel like I'm constantly juggling too many hats, like a fantasy character that enjoys being part Druid, part Paladin, part Mage, with a little bit of a dozen other specialties and skills thrown in for good measure. -

- And along the way, I've been enthusiastic for those that have chosen to go into their various specialties with vigor, but I'm realizing now that I've somehow been hard on myself for embracing a more, well, I don't know if generalist is the right term, but a broader approach.-

- Also along the way, I've been appreciative for the roles I've had, but I've come to realize that part of the reason calling myself by those titles always felt a bit weird was that such roles usually leverage just a small portion of my catalog of skills. -

"Art Director" encompassed and leveraged different skills than "Office Manager," "Community Manager," or "Media Artist." Some of these drank deep into wells of creativity I relished, like "Multimedia Art" or "Creative Writing" or being a "Maker," but often they came up short-

-because there was a broadening gap between what the title encapsulated, and who I saw myself as, as a person and creative. It's a gap I've been trying my best to wade through and explore, and the reflection has been time well-spent. Which brings me to my story. -

As you may have noticed, I have a lot of irons in the fire at any given time. I'm prone to dancing precariously exhaustion in the pursuit of things I enjoy (so much so that I have alarms to remind me to eat... #Adulting), and in my spare time, I've been trying to put more skill-

-points into "creative" things because I not only relish them, but I really want to see what I'm capable of if I hone my focus. In the last few years, that's meant more time working on things like sculpture and 3D, and I've really been enjoying it! But as I said earlier: -

- I neatly compartmentalized it into "but this is *just* a hobby," complete with all sorts of other caveats and footnotes. That is: until San Diego Comic Con. -

This was my first time back to SDCC since my major injury, and working my way around the crowded halls with a crutch was definitely not the easiest thing, but it was necessary. I relished the outing, the sense of camaraderie, and the enthusiasm I felt to be back again. -

- I was admittedly self-conscious about the crutch, but by this point I'd learned that most people stare awkwardly but don't tend to broach the topic outright, which was fine by me. Now and then, someone would notice the "Blizzard Entertainment" on my badge, and I would quickly-

-and easily slip into what my fiance lovingly calls "Community Manager"-mode, bouncing enthusiastic (and very genuine) exchanges back and forth with fellow fans. What games are they playing now? What are their favorite characters? What are they excited for in the future? etc. -

- I enjoyed the exchanges (as I often do!), but due to my injury, my energy reserves were running low, and there were a few more things I wanted to see on the convention floor before I knew we should probably take a break. One of them was Mattel's Jurassic World booth. -

- (Taking photos with a crutch in a crowded hall is awful, but this was *so* worth it.) Once there, I tried to drink in as much of the view as I could. One of the ladies standing there saw me taking photos and came over to us, and I suppose I've worked enough conventions -

- that you just never know who is working the lines. It can be people in all sorts of walks of life and roles in the company, and when she asked if I had any questions or anything, I had a few quick ones I don't remember now, but I was honestly just awestruck by the display. -

- It made me feel like a kid again, and looking at it with fresh eyes now: I can only imagine all the time and care it took to create each of those pieces: from the initial concepts, to the sculpts, molding, casting, painting, packaging, brand management, and more. -

- Making polite conversation, the woman asked my fiancé if he had any questions. I half expected him to share a private smile with me & say something about raptors, but instead he said "Oh this isn't for me." He gestured to me, "She's a sculptor. She really likes dinosaurs." -

- Before I could say anything (including defending that I wasn't a "Sculptor" with a capitol "S"), the woman's eyes lit up & she asked things like "What did I enjoy sculpting?" "Could she see some of my sculptures?" & pivoted into telling us all about the many amazing sculptors-

- working at Mattel, and how for some of the figures, they doubled as designers for the products. Some of the designers even did programming! In this one incredible moment, I felt so completely open to sharing more about what I was passionate about, and relished having -

-that shared passion returned. It was incredible as much as it was eye-opening. It was an interaction that was pure as much as it was invigorating, and it all came about because my fiancé put what he felt was my most relevant interest above my current company or vocational role.-

-It made me realize: those things change, and how! You may work in all sorts of companies, in all sorts of roles, and that only defines you as much as you let it. Even then: you are more. You are so infinitely more complex than any one title conveys. -

- Share your passions, and celebrate them with those around. Make it a point to ask people around you about things they are excited about. Grow the skills you're interested in growing and resist the temptation to narrowly define your own success by limited terms. You are more. -

We can't always control our own back-talk or imposter syndrome, but do what you can to be more aware of when it's happening so that you can keep it in check. Be a better proponent of the person you want to become. I'll be cheering you on along the way. <3 -

- Keep going! We've got this!