hp au where wwx’s animagus form is a magpie and lwj’s is a bunny and third year to seventh year is just elaborate identity porn except magpie wwx drops coins on lwj’s windowsill looking expectant and lwj accidentally becomes wwx’s emotional support pet

lwj: you should not take from others.
wwx: [hops from foot to foot. does not look guilty]
lwj: did you find these? or take them from unknowing pedestrians?
wwx: [begins picking at his own feathers]
lwj, sighing and giving in to pet him: please don’t do this again

[narrator voice] he would, in fact, do it again

anyways house sortings be like
gryff: jc, nmj, mm, sl
ravenclaw: lxc, lwj, wq, mxy (bc that boy really did a whole summoning ritual with half assed notes from a dead person he DID THAT)
huff: jzx, jyl, wwx, wn, xxc
slytherin: nhs, jgy, aq, xy

why is jzx in hufflepuff? well,

sorting hat: hm.... well you don’t have much ambition....... you’re too afraid to tell jyl you secretly like her and have liked her for the past year.............. you’re not very bright, are you........
jzx: my father will hear about this

in other words jzx as baby draco malfoy minus the actual discriminatory assholery he's just rich and insecure and a peacock

wwx and lwj both love dada obviously. lwj also likes ancient runes bc he’s a nerd while wwx’s other favorite subject is potions unironically. blows shit up. he loves it.

wei wuxian's wizard wheezes that's it send tweet

in third year wwx gets a time turner because he really does want to take every class and it leads to shenanigans like

jc: you weren’t here just. where were you
wwx: wdym i was right here
jc: what the fuck no you weren’t
wwx: shhhhhhh class is starting
jc: WEI WUXIAN

also just. wwx doing everything he can. quidditch captain. helps wn in herbology after class. takes care of the baby first years even tho hes not a prefect. has meals at different tables every single time. sneaks off to the groundskeeper’s hut to take care of the creatures.

in fifth year jzx confesses to jyl through a letter but it's a howler

“HI IM SORRY I CALLED YOU UGLY AND BORING BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT. YOU’RE SO. AHEM. BESIDES THE POINT. I MEAN, NOT THAT YOUR BEAUTY IS BESIDES THE POINT BECAUSE IT IS THE POINT—NOT THAT PEOPLE SHOULD BE SHALLOW AND JUDGE YOU FOR YOUR LOOKS—"

"OF COURSE, THIS DOESN’T MEAN THEY’RE LACKING IN ANY WAY BUT. UM. YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL PERSONALITY AND YOU ARE KIND. I WOULD GREATLY APPRECIATE IT IF YOU COULD RECONSIDER OUR ENGAGEMENT STATUS. THANK YOU.”

wwx is the first to howl and he has no idea if it’s laughter or deep despair or horrible secondhand embarrassment and jc is shaking just from all of the above

afterwards jyl just comes up to him and he starts to apologize just stammering in the WORST way and jyl is like "i adore you, but i am trying to kiss you, a-xuan. please be quiet for a moment."

and jzx is so :o that she DOES and its CUTE

anyways wwx does quidditch and he does all the coolest death defying tricks. he does the wronski feint or whatever and the only reason lwj joins quidditch is so that wwx can Stop Doing That

also, sixth year, triwizard competition where mianmian is the beauxbaton champion and wq falls in love w her bc they're both lesbians but all the papers are like “look at these two girls kissing! so friendly! additionally, mm and wwx had lunch yesterday DO WE SENSE ROMANCE??"

lwj reads them and believes them bc , u know, hes stupid and the whole sixth year is bunny lwj finding every opportunity to follow wwx around so he cant go on his dates w mianmian except they dont exist so they just cuddle in front of the fireplace like all the time

wwx: i have a stalker!!!!!!!!
jc: what? who? are they giving you trouble? like you deserve it but i’ll fuck them up. who is it
wwx: no its a bunny
jc:
wwx:
jc: die

anyways for Plot Reasons i would imagine that jyl is really susceptible to ghosts as a spiritually sensitive medium or something. in second year she spends a solid two semesters missing in the chamber of secrets w ghost possession and yunmeng shuangjie come to the rescue!!

so for two years after wwx tries to make a thing that'll help her control it, keep the ghosts under control. it's called the stygian tiger seal

he gets fragments from the philosophers stone and stuff but because he's the creator of the seal, only he can really use it to its maximum potential. he's just around jyl enough that the ghosts stop bothering her tho and start bothering him.

slowly rumors start to spread that, like the famed elder wand, you can control wei wuxian's tiger seal to control the dead and make them do your bidding. this news of course.......gets to wen ruohan, pureblood head of the wen family, who's only interested in dominating the world

sixth year, after the triwizard competition, wwx gets to tour the hall of mysteries as a prize for winning the competition. but there he finds a prophecy that tells him that his seal will bring death and destruction upon the world if it isn't controlled

wwx reassures his professors that he's got it; he's the master of the seal, and he's young, but he's not stupid. he knows what he can handle. some people think it'd be better to destroy entirely, but then wwx points out that destroying the seal would mean destroying his soul too

because the seal is tied to his own life. he made a deal with it, that if the dead and the ghosts gave him power over them, then they'd have power over him too. at this, the professors agree to let him keep it safe with great supervision

except supervising wwx isn't what the world needed. it was supervising wrh. on a random day in seventh year, the wen family descend upon hogwarts and demands that wwx give up the tiger seal before he starts killing students

he makes an ultimatum: wwx must come to the forbidden forest alone at midnight to give up his stygian tiger seal. no harm will come to you or anyone of hogwarts if you do

and wwx is like cool sounds legit. but everyone else is like don’t u go we all know u’ll be killed if u do!!!! bc wwx is the only one who knows a) how to make the seal and b) control it completely, and wrh wants that to die with him.

he wants absolute ownership of the seal, even if it means killing an 18 year old kid. and wwx reassures everyone like hey, it's cool, no problem, just lemme go to the bathroom real quick before we start a war against the biggest pureblood family in the wizarding world yeah

except he sneaks out the invisibility cloak that's the only remaining heirloom from his dead parents and goes EXCEPT LWJ CATCHES HIM.

he recognizes wwx's footsteps after the countless times he's caught wwx sneaking out of the dormitories during his prefect patrols. he tells wwx not to go and wwx is like psssh me? nah. im just taking a stroll. its cool

lwj is like. very clearly not letting him go to his death. he begins duelling with wwx, intent on knocking him out so he can put wwx away from harm, furious and half in despair that wwx won't let anyone protect him when he's going to sacrifice himself like this

and wwx looks at this guy right. he looks at this man who's been his potions partner for seven years now, who's got him punished for sneaking out more times than he can remember

but also this guy who's sweet, who comforts wwx on the anniversary of his parents' deaths, who puts up with wwx's rambling during their study sessions and fought a huge fucking spider with him in first year, who smells like the amortentia potion they brewed in sixth year

lan wangji wasn't the first to congratulate him after he won the triwizard competition, but he was the first to tell wei wuxian, "i'm glad that you are okay." no one has ever said that to him.

and lan wangji, right, lan wangji is the guy who reminds him so much of the bunny who's been a constant source of support to him for years now, with those golden eyes and steady gaze and unwavering presence

and yeah, he's the only guy that wwx has given coins to when he transforms into a magpie. at first it was for fun. to see how lwj would react, annoyed beyond words that a loud, squawking bird kept bothering him

except none of that happened. over time lwj's dorm room filled with bird treats. a stand for wwx to perch on. shiny toys bought with his own gold. he's the most righteous person wwx knows, but he kept every single coin, every single paper clip and tin foil pieces and hairpins

just because an annoying magpie gave them to him. not only that, but he was good to wwx. he petted wwx's feathers and sang to him when wwx felt too restless to sleep and too anxious to fly around

and every time wwx would leave to return to his own room, lwj would give him a kiss to the head and tell him softly, "fly safely, little bird."

so. it's not just this guy. it's lan wangji, who has been endlessly kind and good and who might hate the real him, but god damn if wei wuxian isn't going to stay out of the fight and let them all die.

so wwx transforms into a magpie. the secret he's held for so many years now, it doesn't matter anymore. he lets the familiarity of flight sink into his hollow bones, gives lwj a little bird peck on the cheek, and then rushes away before lwj can catch him.

ofc lwj cant move for a second because that magpie he’s known since forever? that's wei wuxian? the love of his love? who he just let fly away to his death!

in the end it does turn out that wrh wasn’t rly lying and intends on just taking wwx with him to torture him for More Inventions but that's when lwj comes barging in with the invisibility cloak that wei wuxian discarded, leveraging his wand against wrh, demanding, "let him go."

but the thing is. they're only two kids. eighteen-years-old against one of the most powerful wizards the world has known since the days of merlin himself.

wen ruohan smiles. green light sparks in the dark forest.

and where lan wangji has always been a prey animal, prone to freezing in danger, wei wuxian has always been a bird. he's fast, quick on his feet. he's known how to fly before he ever got the chance to graduate. the light reaches him before it can ever glance off lan wangji.

and then: a train station.

"you," says a voice that sounds... weirdly familiar, "what are you doing here?"

wei wuxian opens his eyes to find a woman standing in front of him, wrapped in billowing dark robes with fabric that swirls in the light like the fabric of the invisibility cloak.

"are you death?" wei wuxian asks, incredulous. "was wen qing right? is god a woman? are you god?"

"what the hell," says the woman. "no, i'm not—answer my question. who are you? what are you doing here?"

"i." wei wuxian shakes off the disorienting feeling that apparently comes with being killed, and bows deeply to her. "i am wei wuxian, son of cangse sanren and wei changze. who are you?"

silence.

"merlin," the woman swears, with a viciousness that startles him straight out of his bow. when he straightens, her ageless eyes are wide, hands reaching out to cup his face. "cangse sanren, you said?"

what the hell. why is she touching him. wei wuxian tries to scoot back discreetly.

"uh," he says, "yeah, cangse sanren. do you know my mom or something?"

"do i know your mom," she repeats, rolling her eyes with an air of exasperation that, frankly, he does not deserve.

"wei wuxian," she says, "son of cangse sanren and wei changze, i am baoshan sanren. your ancestor, apparently. by a few dozen lines. give or take."

wei wuxian's mind goes—fucking russian 404 error. "you're what?"

"your ancestor."

"wait. how. why are you here."

"that's my question, but you being my descendant makes more sense now. do you have an affinity towards"—a vague handwave—"controlling death and all that? have you seen him around?"

"have i seen—" wei wuxian breaks off, incredulous. "you mean when i died?"

"no, death. about this tall. big nose. bad posture."

"no?????"

"oh. do you have any kids? wait, you're a kid. do you have any siblings? a cousin?"

"i'm an orphan," wei wuxian says, still trying to process the fact that his great-great-great-whatever knows death personally. "i don't have any siblings."

"no cousin?"

"apparently the other branches died out so," jazz hands, "it's just me. why're you asking this? great-grandmother? whatever we are?"

she lets out a deep sigh that appears to send the train station quaking under his feet, before she makes shooing motions at him. "just... go."

wei wuxian stares at her. "you're not letting me die?" he asks, in utter disbelief. "what, my resume wasn't good enough?"

"do you want to die?" she asks.

"well, no, but like—is that even an option? are you allowed to do that?"

another nebulous hand wave. "death owes me a favor. i'm not letting the last of my bloodline die, wei wuxian."

he stares at her, long enough that she sighs and repeats, "death owes me a favor."

"but—" he tries to process this. "why?"

"because i died," she explains.

"and???"

"the favor was that i died at all. i could've been immortal, you know."

it's like trying to do ancient runes in his head. none of the lines are adding up right. "i," he says, "see. okay. death owes you a favor. cool. so, what, i just? hop on that train now?"

"oh no," she says. "that train takes you somewhere else."

"where? death? the afterlife?"

"if you want to know," she says, "you’ll have to board."

for a long moment wei wuxian stands at the station, torn. because it's his sense of curiosity and desire for freedom, against returning to his loved ones, making sure they're safe.

but, well.

that's never been up to debate.

"i'll go back," he decides. "do i just—walk? what do i have to do to get back?"

"oh, you just wake up. it'll be easy for you."

"what."

"just open your eyes, wei wuxian," she says. "and if you find it hard, follow the voice. there's a person calling for you, you know."

when wei wuxian closes his eyes, concentrating, listening for that voice that's apparently calling for him, he does hear it. the soft cadences. the rise and fall of gentle syllables out of a red mouth that he'd really, really like to kiss.

lan zhan, he thinks.

"make sure you give me grandkids!" baoshan sanren shouts, before he feels his head go fuzzy. "adoption is okay!"

well, he figures that he's always liked kids. no problem. with a smile, he opens his eyes.

he wakes up to the sound of—wet squelching. screaming. rage, fury.

"BET YOU DIDN'T THINK A MUGGLEBORN COULD KILL YOU WITH MUGGLE METHODS, HUH?" a familiar voice is shrieking. jin... jin guangyao? "YOU BASTARD. HOW DO YOU LIKE MY KNIFE? BITCH. EAT MY TOE.”

"what the fuck," wei wuxian croaks.

it comes out like a sort of wheeze, but apparently it's enough to get the person—holding him—to startle, freeze.

"wei ying?" a voice asks, like the crackle of fireplaces, like home and warmth and goodness. achingly quiet.

wei wuxian looks away from—whatever the fuck is happening to wen ruohan's dead body, and finds lan wangji's perfect face, his silent tears catching in the moonlight.

god, it's unfair. it's so unfair.

wei wuxian reaches above him to pat lan wangji's cheeks, sighing.

"of course you're pretty while crying too," he says, fond, shaky with relief, "lan zhan."

"wei ying," lan wangji just chokes out, voice unusually tight. "how—"

"came back for you," wei wuxian cuts him off, smiling. "course i wouldn't leave without kissing you once, sweetheart, would've been a tragedy."

lan wangji's pretty mouth parts in silent shock.

but wei wuxian's faced death and come back. what's fear, next to that?

"lan zhan," he says, quietly stroking lan wangji's cheek, smearing the tears away into nothing. "listen. i like you. i'm sorry it took me literally dying to figure it out, but i like you. i really, really like you, and i'm—shit, yeah, i'm the magpie, and i adore you, and—"

"wei ying," lan wangji says, faint.

"—my amortentia potion smells like you," wei wuxian goes on, ignoring him, "and i want to kiss you, my last thought before i—you know, died—it was about how fucking sad it was that i died a virgin, but like, one that never got railed by you—"

"oh."

"and i know jin guangyao's like, literally killing a person right now," wei wuxian continues, "but i think the, the moonlight, and the forest, and the, the fucking ambiance, i don't know, kiss me, i'm gonna go insane. if you feel the same way, kiss me. kiss me, come on."

"you," says lan wangji, looking faint, "want me to—"

"yes."

"and you like—"

"yes, come on, i'm not getting any younger here—"

lan wangji cuts him off with a kiss so fierce that he forgets his train of thought instantly.

ten years later, wei wuxian proposes and it's... something of a disaster. kind of.

wwx: hey you know that time i died
lwj: ....... what
wwx: haha did i not mention that? anyways we have to have at least three kids. well, technically she never specified a number, but i'm gonna estimate a safe three since i'm the only one who's carrying the family line, you know

lwj, trying to process the fact that they're going to have kids, despite not even being married yet: who is... she
wwx: my nearly immortal ancestor? it's all details. whatever. point is we need a kid.
lwj, externally: i see
lwj, internally: MARRY ME MARRY ME MARRY ME MARRY ME MA

wwx: so. i figure. if we're gonna have kids. we should. oh god. this is nervewracking. i mean i got a ring but like. ohhh god. wait can you look at the wall. or wait i'll turn around. okay. do you want to get married. with me. i promise it'll be nice
lwj, internally: YES PLEASE Y

lwj, out loud: yes. i would love to.

and then they kiss and live happily ever after and adopt all the juniors as their kids and it's a nice ending!!!

there's not really an aftermath of the war because the stygian tiger seal broke with wwx's semi-death, since his soul was technically destroyed in this world, it just... came back. anyways yeah!!!

if anyone stayed for all the rambles, thanks for reading !!

i also wrote the beginning of this au intending to have it be a full-fledged fic, but [hand wave] too much work. here's what i have of it tho !! https://twitter.com/yuisakii/status/1285634558088613890?s=20