cw discourse
okay, let's imagine it for a second. let's imagine censorship takes over, and storytelling is wiped clean of problematic themes. everything is pure and wholesome and wonderful. all portrayals of romantic relationships are 100% healthy, no problems.

what do u think will happen? do u think everyone will follow those stories' examples and have perfect relationships? do u think that eliminating portrayals of bad relationships will brainwash everyone into being respectful? do u think eliminating it from fiction will eliminate it

from real life?
all it will do is make more unhappy people. people who's relationships dont look like the ones they see in fiction. people who expected everything to always be perfect, only to find it wouldn't be. you know what else?

it will make abuse EASIER.
"if you really loved me, you would put me first," says the over-controlling abuser. you don't know any better, so you cancel your plans with your friends.
"i just want what's best for you, because i love you," they say, everytime they dont like one of

your decisions. you feel guilty, how could you disrespect their feelings like that? someone who loves you couldn't possibly hurt you, right? you don't know any better, so you slowly start letting them make all your decisions for you.

"why are you arguing with me? your disagreement hurts my feelings and my pride. you're a bad partner," they say every time you try to voice your own opinion or disagree with them. you don't know any better, so you eventually learn to stay quiet.

in every movie, book, tv show, story, fanfic, etc, everyone's happy. they all put their partners first. they all want what's best for each other. they never disagree, and they never hurt each other's feelings. how are you supposed to know any better?

you make one mistake. have one outburst. say one thing that's accidentally hurtful. your partner points all of these things out, guilts you, demeans you and calls you a bad person. but they love you! they always say so. how can you be so unhappy when they love you?

it must be YOU that's wrong. you're ungrateful, and you need to try harder. THEY'RE the good person, always putting up with you.

you don't know any better, so you continue to let it happen.

fiction DOES affect reality. it spreads ideas, experiences. it can be educational. it doesnt HAVE to be, but it can be.
that's why we NEED problematic fiction. how are you supposed to identify negative behavior when it happens to you if you've never seen it before?

if you try to educate people by *limiting* their knowledge to only a certain subset of scenarios that are Healthy and Approved, you're making it so that ppl are unprepared for scenarios that don't follow the handbook. education is about making people AWARE. how the heck is

censorship supposed to achieve that?

furthermore, i find that a lot of purity police spread this very harmful image of abuse. do u think all abuse is intentional? do u think an abuser enters a relationship and goes "ah yes. i'm going to consciously and purposely

gaslight, isolate, and demean this person. i have a diabolical five-step plan for ruining this person's life."
im sure there are people who really are like that and purposely hurt others for fun, but not all. i would go so far as to say that most of them aren't.
most of them are

just your average selfish, entitled, insecure human being. there isn't a coalition of abusers, or some secret organization where they teach people how to employ abuse tactics. so how, then do so many abusers use the same methods? it's a result of human nature.

they're not going like "okay, step one: isolate. i will make them stop seeing their friends." more likely, it's "i'm insecure, and feel like if you hang out with your friends you'll abandon me or leave me."
no one's gonna be like "okay, step two: gaslight. i'm going to make them

doubt what's real." more likely, it's "oh shit, they called out something i did that was bad. shit. im offended, and im feeling defensive. im going to lie, an dpretend it never actually happened because i don't want to address it."
many abusers don't know they're being abusive.

they feel they're always right, that they're entitled to everything they demand. do you know what that means?

your partner has been going out a lot lately. you feel lonely. you want to spend more time with them. "if you really loved me, you would put me first," you tell them.

your partner makes a decision you don't like. how could they do that? don't they care about what you think? "i just want what's best for you, because i love you," you tell them.

you get into an argument. they are trying to tell you something, but you don't want to listen to them. "why are you arguing with me? your disagreement hurts my feelings and my pride. you're a bad partner," you say.

you've only ever seen happy couples. every movie, tv show, book, story, etc. talks about the power of love, about perfect relationships. your partner doesn't do things the way you've heard they're supposed to in all your favorite fanfics.

why isn't YOUR relationship like that? it must be them that's wrong. they're not the perfect, dream partner they should be. you demand more, and more, and more.

you've become the abuser. you didn't want to be, that wasn't your intention, but you have. you didn't mean to.

but how were you supposed to know that you were asking for too much? how were you supposed to know that you were wrong? you don't know any better. so you don't change.

this is the future you're asking for, antis. take a good hard look. is this really waht you want to fight for?

(clarification: my point isn't that wholesome fiction makes abusers, it's that without problematic fiction to help paint a picture of abusive behavior, not only will people not recognize that they're being abused, they might not recognize that they're being abusive.)