Thread by @LeonieHilliard, I really appreciate the support I've received in the last few days. [...]

I really appreciate the support I've received in the last few days. Thank you again, to everyone who's reached out by PM, liked, retweeted, or commented. It means a lot. It's not about me though. I was relatively unscathed by him. Others were not so lucky, and some brave and 1/

strong women decided to speak up. I would not have spoken up had a person better than me not kicked my ass. I would have quietly unfriended, blocked and walked away. I'm not proud of that, but that is the reality. She, and a few other women, led the way, and created momentum. 2/

A pattern was uncovered that allowed the people affected to understand that they were not alone in their perception, and the hurt/harm felt, justified. More people came forward & described similar behaviour/experiences. Unfortunately, as part of this, it has come to light that 3/

other women have come forward in the past, and not been heard, not been listened to, or not been believed. In any way that I may have been part of this, I'm truly sorry. As part of the pattern, perceptions involving him, were usually framed by him, and reinforced by a general 4/

narrative of acceptance which aided some degree of cognitive dissonance. The whispers didn't reach most people, and if they did, in the noise of social media and the nature of online discourse, especially around contentious topics, they were easily distorted, explained away & 5/

diffused. It was women affected speaking to each other that brought clarity to the pattern, & women speaking up that hopefully brings a halt to the behaviour, or at least slowed it down considerably. Unfortunately, the considerable backlash though has created noise around the 6/

key message, misrepresented the key issues, undermined the people who spoke up, and in putting the emphasis wrongly on the women's supposed complicity, distracted from placing the responsibility where it belongs. The net result of this is a dilution of the message, and the 7/

silencing of the wrong people. I am in the privileged position to be able to use, in a limited way, my small platform to speak up without taking on huge personal risk. I will try to continue to do so, because I am committed to trying to reduce the societal harms of patriarchy 8/

& rape culture. While it would be nice to think about accountability for their actions, and even rehabilitation of people who harm others with the behaviour patterns described, the first priority here is reducing or stopping the hurt/harm in this instance. With that in mind 9/

there are some actions that help.
1) Amplifying the messages of people speaking up. Liking, commenting and retweeting are fantastic.
2) Supporting those that speak up. PMs are great, but only the recipient sees them. Making your support shareable is better (even if it's by PM 10/

let the person you contact know that they can share your message of support privately with others affected).
3) Counter harmful messages. I know this is difficult, especially if you know and respect those responsible for, or sharing, those messages, but often those people 11/

have bigger platforms than those speaking out, and this can have the effect of drowning out the message you support.
4) This is one that I'm personally having difficulty with over the last few days, in light of some of the comments I've seen, but please assume good faith 12/

and be kind. We don't know what pain & suffering other people are going through in their lives, or the experiences they've had that brought them to the place they are, but I know, deep down, that we're on the same side here. Assume good faith, but be cautious too, & check-in 13/

with yourself frequently. I'll try to do better. That said, I will not be bullied into silence by 'utter pricks' who callously gloat about being right, & demand apology for not being heard instead of offering support to those hurt. That man in particular can fuck right off. 14/14

Latest Threads Unrolled: