When I was abt... 11 years old I had the average body that an 11 yr/old shuld have.
But seeing the gorgeous THIN bodies of models & famous women everywhere had me CONVINCED that I was fat.
I would grab RANDOM SKIN at my belly and complain that it was fat and I was fat
But seeing the gorgeous THIN bodies of models & famous women everywhere had me CONVINCED that I was fat.
I would grab RANDOM SKIN at my belly and complain that it was fat and I was fat
I was also envious of the long silky hair that American black women seemed to have.
I HONESTLY THOUGHT Western black women had unlocked some sort of secret to long hair or that they where born that way. Lil me BELIEVED that all those wigs was the hair from their head
I HONESTLY THOUGHT Western black women had unlocked some sort of secret to long hair or that they where born that way. Lil me BELIEVED that all those wigs was the hair from their head

Repeated exposure to the same type of light skinned long haired black & biracial women from American TV had me putting pressure on myself to look like them.
I would try and stay under the relaxer for as long as I possibly could because I BELIEVED WITH ALL MY HEART THAT ONE DAY
I would try and stay under the relaxer for as long as I possibly could because I BELIEVED WITH ALL MY HEART THAT ONE DAY





Now don't take this post as me bashing these beautiful women. What the fuck where they SUPPOSED to do? NOT look like themselves?NOT take pictures? NOT promote their image? The fuck?
No. I blame the industry & media that pushed the same light skinned, long haired woman to me
No. I blame the industry & media that pushed the same light skinned, long haired woman to me
And when you have ADHD? Like me? You can hyper focus on the things that grap your attention.
Pple with ADHD where manifesting shit LOOONG before the word "Manifest" became popular on twitter.
In my head from grade 1 ALL the way to grade 9 i has it all planned out
Pple with ADHD where manifesting shit LOOONG before the word "Manifest" became popular on twitter.
In my head from grade 1 ALL the way to grade 9 i has it all planned out
I would save my money. By skin lightening cream, relax my hair more often, braid my hair as well to promote hair growth, not eat lunch and dinner.
Eat only lettice and cucumber and one
day.
Day I will be pretty.
Day I will look like them.
I WILL BE light white & bright
Eat only lettice and cucumber and one



I WILL BE light white & bright
I ONLY started loving myself when I started seeing the image of black women being promoted. No matter how little it was.
I grew up in the IG Generation. THANK GOD there where accounts and pages DEDICATED to dark skinned black women. Thank god black girls rock played on BET.
I grew up in the IG Generation. THANK GOD there where accounts and pages DEDICATED to dark skinned black women. Thank god black girls rock played on BET.
In the end I never saved myself. In the end I never grew out of that toxic mindset. Once you hyper focus there's no going back.
In the end it was thru the COMBINED efforts of black women that I learned to love myself and make peace with my dark skin & nappy hair.
In the end it was thru the COMBINED efforts of black women that I learned to love myself and make peace with my dark skin & nappy hair.
And it wasn't thru WORDS ONLY.
They SHOWED me we are beautiful. They put their image out there. They looked so regal & elegant on those blk girl luxury pages.
It was Lupita Nyongo, Viola Davis, the melaninated dark & NATURAL blk women on INSTAGRAM that thought me to love myself
They SHOWED me we are beautiful. They put their image out there. They looked so regal & elegant on those blk girl luxury pages.
It was Lupita Nyongo, Viola Davis, the melaninated dark & NATURAL blk women on INSTAGRAM that thought me to love myself
It was only thru the natural hair movement on YouTube that I learned what deep conditioner was.
Can you believe I was braiding my hair dry before that?
It was the NHM on YT that thought me what 4C was! U know B4 biracial & lightskinned women infiltrated (Fuck them 4 that
)
Can you believe I was braiding my hair dry before that?
It was the NHM on YT that thought me what 4C was! U know B4 biracial & lightskinned women infiltrated (Fuck them 4 that


So in the end it was thru no effort or thought of my own that I made peace with my body, my hair, my race. It was because of BLACK WOMEN AND THANKYOU FOR THAT.
My confidence. My self love. It didn't come from thin air. I didn't manifest it. Black women GAVE me it.
My confidence. My self love. It didn't come from thin air. I didn't manifest it. Black women GAVE me it.