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Indian women over 30 who are not legally married, or are divorced, or happily single by choice feel a constant neverending pressure from every possible quarter. It’s bizarre and absolutely unacceptable, yet it is inescapable for most. And it absolutely cannot be normalised.
If your parents or extended family are putting emotional or verbal pressure on you and making the age 30 some kind of goalpost, they are being patriarchal, and wrong. I have so many friends who got married in their twenties and are divorced now. Coz so much has changed
The idea that marriage is necessary or a logical ‘next step’ or for many, ‘settling down’ is something that has to be challenged constantly. And idiots who talk about increasing divorce rates obviously refuse to account for the fact that it was due to women having little agency
Or people just normalising being miserable. Has it never occurred to you that so many people from previous generations were just magically straight? And happily married?Or is it just that they suffered, or normalised misery or abuse or found horrible solutions to make things last
There is no winning for women here even now. You get married before 30, and say it is absolutely disastrous or doesn’t work out. You get divorced. Then you get told now you won’t get ‘good options’. AUNTY PEHLE KYUN JALDI KARNE KO BOLA? At the very least doesn’t it make sense to
Wait, grow up enough, be certain of a relationship and wait till you’re in a better place in life and actually ready to make a decision like matrimony instead of jumping in coz of the pressure and expectations and then end up with a messy thing that you either suffer or leave?
Anyway, my point is: women please don’t succumb. You’re doomed either way unless you are willing, mentally ready and happy about the idea of getting married. And absolutely sure about the person and what life will look like with them.
You’re doomed if you get rushed into marriage & it makes your miserable or doesn’t work out, the same people will then shame you for being a divorced woman. Or for not being ‘able to make it work’. Anyway this is your life, your parents have no business telling you how to live it
No matter what they say, how well they have provided for you: it’s literally their job. They chose to become parents, and raise you. You are family, not transactional, contract-bound entities where your care or love gets diminished or held hostage if you do not follow guidelines
