Spent a full morning looking at burger adverts that are supposed to come across as appealing on Instagram but they actually look like a proper pain in the arse to try and eat and it’s just made me really angry.

Thread, and feel free to contribute pals:

Look at this fucking knobhead. Do you cut it in half? Smash it down? Throw it against a wall, screaming that your eldest son doesn’t respect you and all he does is “watch someone on YouTube playing games, the same games he’s already got”.

They call this one “The Fuckhat”

State of this sad bastard. Was the fucker involved in a car crash on the way from the kitchen to my table? Ring a fucking ambulance and take it away.
They call this one “Left alone with a crack pipe and a George Foreman grill”

Jesus. Fucking. Wept. This is what happens when you ask a 5 year old to draw an alien.

If you can’t eat it you can use the fucker as a crash helmet or huff it through a Poundstretcher shop window on your way home from the pub

They call this one “Gary Linekers one pump fancy”

This poor bastard looks like the Deputy Dawg of burgers. The chefs depressed, half of the sesame seeds on the bun didn’t even bother to turn up for work today, and rightly so. Is that lettuce or a grasshopper trying to tip it all in the bin?

They call this one “Sad hand Shandy”

Did the waiting staff carry this fucker over in their pocket? Look at it. It’s laughing and crying at the same time. Keep your hands on it or it will try and wander into traffic to die again

They call this one “HNNNNNGH”

Happy birthday dad! A fucking Honey Badger would run away from this in a fight. The sticks holding this sad-fest together can be used to blind yourself rather than face another minute of it.

They call this one “JK Rowlings only friend”

This is what it looks like when food cries.

I think this might be what actually killed Prince, after someone threw it at him

They call this one “I’m not angry, Steve, I’m just disappointed”

Alert the fucking RAF and get them to shoot this mess out of Gods sight. I would not sleep safely at night knowing this monstrosity was out roaming the streets and I would immediately buy a gun to keep my family safe from it

They call this one “Robbie Williams’ best tattoo”

Danny De Vito & Arnie are looking well. How big is the straw to suck those fries up? Listen here - Use a plate. Like a fucking gentleman.

They call this one “Double Impact”

Credit to @RobboRobson21 for this:
DEAR FUCKING DIARY THEY RAN OUT OF CLAY IN POTTERY CLASS SO I IMPROVISED AND USED MY LUNCH TO SCULPT A MUPPET BEING TORTURED

They call this one “80s Fashion”

Thanks to @WeWantPlates:
Once upon a time, a chef did so much cocaine he thought “WHAT IF I REPLACE THE BREAD WITH MOZZARELLA? THEN SHE’LL TAKE ME BACK AND LET ME SEE THE KIDS GUHUH”
Spoiler alert: she didn’t
They call this one “Missed call from withheld number at 3am”

Thanks to @Homevixen:
It’s not so much a meal as a game of fucking JENGA. Never thought a STEPLADDER was considered as CUTLERY. YOU SHOULDN’T NEED ROPES TO CLIMB YOUR FUCKING DINNER

They call this one “Mark Whalbergs angry rant in a car park”

Thanks to @martin_thequiff: FUCK ME, did this have to be delivered on horseback? The vodka bottle isn’t for scale - it’s for you to douse over the poor fucker, set it ablaze and put it out of its fucking misery

They call this one “I’VE KILLED BEFORE, BRIAN, AND I WILL AGAIN”