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I want to talk about two unexpected things that come along with having #invisibleillnesses: 1) #guilt, 2) loss of sense of self-worth. Also, is it just me?
Guilt from not meeting pinnacles of success and normality that you had imagined for yourself in career, relationships etc.
Guilt from not meeting pinnacles of success and normality that you had imagined for yourself in career, relationships etc.
It comes from being sick at a young age when you feel that your disability is somehow your fault. Is it my weight? Is it my posture? Am I not taking care of myself enough? Am I taking care of myself too much? You never seem to do it right. It comes from missing pre-set plans.
Loss of self worth, closely associated "feeling", arises from not meeting standards set by society and yourself. You feel "lesser" than others who seem to have more "succesful" lives. The compromises you had to make for your health gnaw at you. Am I not strong enough? #spoonie
It also comes from opinions of others about you. Missing plans make you look unreliable. Talking about your illness makes you an attention-seeker (nothing wrong with that). Many silent/spoken criticisms find their way into you while you feel bad about letting others affect you.
They come from missing your old self. You forget your own resilience and strength. With time, I have come a long way in accepting myself and my life. I understand that it may be different but it is no way "lesser". These feelings still chip away at me. #Fibromyalgia #Bipolar
