A couple of grad students commented that it was super demoralizing to see my tweet that postdocs are often lonely. Wasn’t sure what to say in response — I don’t think lying about it or not saying anything is a helpful thing to do either!

I feel I was much better prepared for the postdoc to faculty transition than I was for any of the others but that doesn’t mean there haven’t been challenges.

It is lonely in ways that people don’t tell you about. And I understand why they don’t.

Junior Black faculty are often caught between a rock and a hard place. Precarious, at risk, and also perceived as having made it and powerful.

You don’t want to tell people who are reaching for that stage how in danger they will feel.

Also

People’s ideas about what it’s okay for faculty to say and not say are so stringent that it can feel like part of the risk you face is how people will respond if you are honest with them about the conditions.

You were “discouraging” or “not showing good emotional boundaries.”

Side note: these were not my students who said this. They were people on Twitter that I don’t know.

https://twitter.com/caramba0309/status/1281926284126412800?s=21 https://twitter.com/caramba0309/status/1281926284126412800

I think Black/minoritized faculty have incredible pressures particularly when dealing with minoritized students. The pressure of representation. Of being exactly the mentor the student needs. Of always knowing how to say things in the right way. https://twitter.com/ibjiyongi/status/1281926497012453378?s=21 https://twitter.com/ibjiyongi/status/1281926497012453378

Also white faculty aren’t expected to be a mentor on call to people around the world. I get why people ask. I asked that of Black faculty who weren’t at my institution. But there’s a kind of entitlement in here that goes undiscussed which is what happens when someone says no?

I remember a group of Black students badmouthing a Black woman I knew because she said no to mentoring someone. As if she didn’t have a right to set boundaries. And people were taken aback when I told them she did.

It’s like she didn’t own herself but belonged to them.

The number of stories I have heard from Black women faculty and research staff in the last two years about the way they were mistreated and targeted by Black students in particular — & non-Black POC colleagues and students as well — makes me sad.

This isn’t what we fought for.

If I could have one wish granted about the dynamics between people in the academy it would be that every time someone interacts with someone else, their behavior reflected a serious relationship with the idea that the person on the other end is human, no matter what their role.

In the meantime, part of what’s very lonely is that esp if you’re a Black woman in STEM, there aren’t a lot of people like you and who understand the particularities of your experience, and it’s less safe to talk openly about your experiences than it was when you were more junior

But to the larger point of why are postdocs more lonely: there are fewer of you, fewer structures in place to help you find others, fewer commonalities in experience, more people who are in married/parenting family units, and more very individual situations.

You’re not taking classes together or moving through programmatic stages together. You may be the only one in your group or even departments. There probably aren’t a bunch of postdoc groups for you to choose from — there may only be one. Student groups are not an option.

All of this is heightened when you’re faculty!

When I said “the only one” I meant postdoc. If you’re Black, you’re maybe the only one in a bunch of other ways .... https://twitter.com/ibjiyongi/status/1281929957149638657?s=21 https://twitter.com/ibjiyongi/status/1281929957149638657

So the other thing is that these feelings can be incredibly distracting from getting your work done. It’s easier to forget why you’re there in the first place. Or to feel distracted and disconnected from the sense of wonder that drives your work. But you can’t let it happen.

You have to stay engaged with your work. Keep doing your calculations, measurements, writing. You must stay in touch with your deeply held interest in particles, exoplanets, graph theory, whatever it is.

Your whole life cannot become about academic pain!