You should never date out of pity, you'll end up regretting it.
You should never marry out of pity, you sentencing yourself to a life of regrets.

A thread. #RealTosinTalks

When you date/marry out of pity, it simply means you're doing the person a favour by dating them. That's wrong. Dating should be based on love, not as a favour and over time, you'll end up feeling like the person you're dating is beneath you.

You know what that makes you ? a terrible person. Imagine feeling like the person you're in a relationship with, someone you're supposed to love wholeheartedly is beneath you?! That's a trait of a terrible person.

In the long run, you're going to hate that person, you'll be filled with nothing but resentment for them, because you've dated/married them out of pity. You'll hate every effort from the person, till the person that's to "smell" to you.

Because everytime you see them, you will only think about how they've wasted your time. No, you won't see it like you've wasted the person's time, you'd think they've wasted your time, because you think you've done them a favour!

You'll end up hurting that person, because, later, you'd think to yourself, "I deserve better" so you either leave the person or start to cheat on them, either way, you leave them hurt and distraught.

You know another truth ? the person isn't the only one who'll feel the hurt, You'll feel it too, even more, because just as the person is unhappy, so are you, the happiness you'll get from dating someone you're in love with is missing, the person is unhappy and so are you

Think about it, that rush of adrenaline just from looking at someone you're in love with, that spark in your heart, the feeling of excitement you feel, they are all missing just because you're dating out of pity. Why would you want to do that to yourself ?!

Every time you have sex with that person, it's never out of love, it's pity sex, there'll be nothing like "making love" between you too, it'll always feel like a duty, an obligation you're mandated to fulfill. You'll always end up feeling used.

You know what else I think ? I think those who date out of pity actually lack self esteem themselves. They feel like they are not good enough for someone else, hence, they'll date someone they think is "beneath" them.

The simple solution to all of these, all the talk of dating out of pity, is honesty! Be honest to yourself and to the person. Here's how:

We are never not aware to when someone likes us, we start to notice their actions and we can see it clearly that the person likes us even when they don't say it, if we like the person back, then it's simple, we may end up starting something beautiful with that person.

If we don't like the person back, then that's where we need to be honest with ourselves. Usually some of us have personalities that attract others to us, so even when we are just being ourselves, the person is falling for us, what do we do in such cases ?

Be honest with the person, let them know your stand and state it clear, don't hold back words or try to water them down. Say it loud and clear! "You're a nice person, but I am not in love with you, we cannot date"

That statement, which may prove difficult to say, will save you a lifetime of regrets. Don't ever think, "oh, I don't want him/her to feel bad". Guy! You're both going to feel WORSE if you continue on that path!

Don't "keep the person around", if you do that, you're just a selfish person who loves attention and is getting it at the expense of another person's happiness. Let go totally!

You should always think ahead, think about the future, You want a beautiful love life, one that'll give you nothing but happiness, do you think you can achieve that if you date/marry out of pity ?

Think about it! THE END. Kindly follow me if you aren't already, I drop gems like this one you just read. Also if there's something you'll love to see me talk about, comment below with the hashtag; #RealTosinTalks