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A NDEBELE WEDDING 
Marriage ceremonies among the Ndebele were an entire vibe and they went on for weeks.
This thread is a summary of the marriage rites.
Please feel free to add, subtract, correct, comment and everything else except disrespect other peopleâs culture
Marriage ceremonies among the Ndebele were an entire vibe and they went on for weeks.
This thread is a summary of the marriage rites.
Please feel free to add, subtract, correct, comment and everything else except disrespect other peopleâs culture
WEDDING EVE
The day before the marriage, the bride-to-be's father would slaughter a beast to COLA his daughter with.
UkuCOLA - To cleanse, express happiness and wish one success. Itâs a way of showing acknowledgement, acceptance and blessings
PS: COLA not (Coca)COLA
The day before the marriage, the bride-to-be's father would slaughter a beast to COLA his daughter with.
UkuCOLA - To cleanse, express happiness and wish one success. Itâs a way of showing acknowledgement, acceptance and blessings
PS: COLA not (Coca)COLA
FATHER GIVES DAUGHTER AWAY
The father would apply the bile (inyongo) from the beast to the top of her head, back of neck and joints (elbows, knees, ankles, wrists, toes).
[Bile is an offering to the ancestors (abaphansi)]
The father would apply the bile (inyongo) from the beast to the top of her head, back of neck and joints (elbows, knees, ankles, wrists, toes).
[Bile is an offering to the ancestors (abaphansi)]
Marriage meant subtraction or loss of an individual from the family so ukucola was a prayer and an appeal to the ancestors not to stop looking out for her even though she was relocating to another family.
WEDDING DAY 
Before the wedding party left for the groomâs home, the bride and her father entered the cattle kraal where he performed a rite known as ukuphehlela isthundu.
He would use a stirring device (uphehlo) to stir the contents of a gourd until a white foam was formed.
Before the wedding party left for the groomâs home, the bride and her father entered the cattle kraal where he performed a rite known as ukuphehlela isthundu.
He would use a stirring device (uphehlo) to stir the contents of a gourd until a white foam was formed.
He would then pour the white froth over his daughterâs head, neck and body while appealing to the ancestors to look after her.
The bride would leave the kraal through the fence, not gate.
She would then be gifted a knife by her father or brother.
The bride would leave the kraal through the fence, not gate.
She would then be gifted a knife by her father or brother.
The empty gall bladder from the beast was blown up using umsingazana grass, tied with a string and hung around the neck of the Best Girl (usanyongwana).
BRIDAL TEAM
Umlobokazi - Bride
Ingqwele - Matron of Honour
Usanyongwana - Best Girl
Osomthanyelwana - Bridesmaids/Helpers
The bridal team would sing as it followed the bride-to-be from the kraal, with her head bowed.
At that point she was now a bride (umlobokazi).
Umlobokazi - Bride
Ingqwele - Matron of Honour
Usanyongwana - Best Girl
Osomthanyelwana - Bridesmaids/Helpers
The bridal team would sing as it followed the bride-to-be from the kraal, with her head bowed.
At that point she was now a bride (umlobokazi).
So before the marriage, the girlâs relatives would have given her gifts and livestock.
She leaves these behind when she goes to the groomâs home.
She leaves these behind when she goes to the groomâs home.
THE WELCOMING
When they got to the groomâs place, the bridal team would surround the bride and hide her, so that no one would steal her footprints (bengamcuph' inyawo) and bewitch her
Reed mats (amacansi) were laid along the path as an honour and also so that bengamcuph' nyawo!
When they got to the groomâs place, the bridal team would surround the bride and hide her, so that no one would steal her footprints (bengamcuph' inyawo) and bewitch her
Reed mats (amacansi) were laid along the path as an honour and also so that bengamcuph' nyawo!
They met the groom's family at the kraal, exchanges gifts and greetings and then proceeded to the home ke.
The bridal team would remain standing until a beast was paid for them to sit down (inkomo yamacansi).
The bridal team would remain standing until a beast was paid for them to sit down (inkomo yamacansi).
Then the bridal team and the groomâs family would go back to the kraal, leaving the bride behind.
A man from the groomâs side would stab the chose beast to be used to cola the bride.
Meanwhile, the bride would sit with her legs crossed
so that the beast doesn't fall down.
A man from the groomâs side would stab the chose beast to be used to cola the bride.
Meanwhile, the bride would sit with her legs crossed
so that the beast doesn't fall down.
If the man failed to make the beast fall to the ground, the bride's representative would take the spear and demand payment before releasing it.
They would pay and then slaughtered the animal ke.
The spear used was cleaned using cattle manure (umquba).
They would pay and then slaughtered the animal ke.
The spear used was cleaned using cattle manure (umquba).
Then the gall bladder from the beast was blown up and worn around the neck by usanyongwana, just like they did at the brideâs home.
UKUMEZEKA
The climax of the wedding was ukumekeza - The wedding dance ritual.
It was done at the kraal after slaughtering the beast.
And the bride would be dressed for it! Complete with a crown made of beautiful feathers, isbhuda (powder?) on her face and beads and paintings.
The climax of the wedding was ukumekeza - The wedding dance ritual.
It was done at the kraal after slaughtering the beast.
And the bride would be dressed for it! Complete with a crown made of beautiful feathers, isbhuda (powder?) on her face and beads and paintings.
UKUTSHAYA ISTEP
The bridesmaids (osomthanyelwana - sweepers) would dance first
Then the bride would follow with a broom in one hand and that knife she was given by her father/brother back home, in the other hand.
[What is the knife used for kanje?
]
The bridesmaids (osomthanyelwana - sweepers) would dance first
Then the bride would follow with a broom in one hand and that knife she was given by her father/brother back home, in the other hand.
[What is the knife used for kanje?
]
FIRST DANCE 
The bride would then dance for her groom, moving her head back and forth, and make her man join her.
The two love birds would tango and get-down until the matron of honour (Inqgwele) called time out by tapping the bride with a short stick.
The bride would then dance for her groom, moving her head back and forth, and make her man join her.
The two love birds would tango and get-down until the matron of honour (Inqgwele) called time out by tapping the bride with a short stick.
EAT, DRINK, BE MERRY THEN GO HOME
After ukumekeza it was party time. They would feast and party from dusk till dawn; dancing, eating, drinking, everything
When all was over, the bridal party went back home.
Only usanyongwana remained behind to help the bride with makoti duties
After ukumekeza it was party time. They would feast and party from dusk till dawn; dancing, eating, drinking, everything
When all was over, the bridal party went back home.
Only usanyongwana remained behind to help the bride with makoti duties
3 WEEKS LATER
They both went back home for ukuphinda imikhondo
Reasons were:
1. So they could shave off the brideâs hair and leave just a knot at the top of her head (icholo - worn by married women)
2. So she could go and get those gifts her relatives gave her before she left
They both went back home for ukuphinda imikhondo
Reasons were:
1. So they could shave off the brideâs hair and leave just a knot at the top of her head (icholo - worn by married women)
2. So she could go and get those gifts her relatives gave her before she left
3. To burn the gall bladders that isanyongwana was wearing, from both the bride's and groom's sides.
Remember the two gall bladders that were hung around the best girl's neck?
Remember the two gall bladders that were hung around the best girl's neck?
TYING OF THE KNOT
The gall bladders were placed in a potsherd (udengezi) and burnt together to symbolise the creation of a lasting relationship between the two families and their ancestors
This was the final spiritual and physical tying of the knot
This was the important part
The gall bladders were placed in a potsherd (udengezi) and burnt together to symbolise the creation of a lasting relationship between the two families and their ancestors
This was the final spiritual and physical tying of the knot
This was the important part
The ashes of the burnt gall bladders were deposited esilotheni (ash mound?)
And they would exclaim, âIfindo lenja Batayi!â
Then man and woman would become one and live happily ever after and make many children (Children were kinda compulsory)
And they would exclaim, âIfindo lenja Batayi!â
Then man and woman would become one and live happily ever after and make many children (Children were kinda compulsory)
GET THIS 
If the groom was from a rich family, the bridal team could refuse to leave his home and want to be part of the good life.
They would stay there and the groomâs family would give them a place to stay called Umncwazi.
[So what if the groomâs family didnât want them?]
If the groom was from a rich family, the bridal team could refuse to leave his home and want to be part of the good life.
They would stay there and the groomâs family would give them a place to stay called Umncwazi.
[So what if the groomâs family didnât want them?]
THE END 
I think I will do lobola next to show what it used to be, a noble ritual, before it was painfully corrupted and turned into a get-rich-quick scheme.
This is the kind of wedding I want!
Would you want a traditional wedding like this?
I think I will do lobola next to show what it used to be, a noble ritual, before it was painfully corrupted and turned into a get-rich-quick scheme.
This is the kind of wedding I want!
Would you want a traditional wedding like this?
