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CW Drugs, Substance Abuse
It's time for this discourse again but I keep seeing it. If part of your kink is openly using predatory language about taking advantage of people's addictive tendencies, you aren't being a domme on a power trip, you are being a predator.
It's time for this discourse again but I keep seeing it. If part of your kink is openly using predatory language about taking advantage of people's addictive tendencies, you aren't being a domme on a power trip, you are being a predator.
There are good ways to engage in kink, but all of those require consent, and the simple reality is that any explanation of the mechanisms of addiction erodes the possibility of consent. Openly bragging about how you use those tools to dominate people isn't fucking cool.
And it's not like this shit is rare. Anytime I see findom shit come across my timeline I click through the profile and end up finding this kind of shit, either by the OP, or in one of their RTs. This kind of shit is so extremely scummy it's a minor miracle no one says something.
The explanation of addicts is full stop, in all cases, with no exception, non-consensual. The fact that in any area of kink it is considered permissable to appropriate the language of addiction, to glorify the aesthetic of manipulating addicts is simply not okay.
However in cases related specifically to things like findom we have a storied history of real addicts being harmed by similar systems. If it is morally wrong for casinos to prey on the addictive tendencies of gambling addicts it's wrong in kink too.
Gambling, binge shopping, big spending, etc all fuck with the human brain, and while some people can engage with these activities responsibly, some can't, and it's the responsibility of the domme to sort that out, not brag about not needing to.
Saying things to the effect of "I will manipulate you into self harm when I know you are at your most vulnerable addict state" is simply not acceptable language. Consent had gone out the fucking window, and the fact this shit is so common should be a massive red flag.
This shit gets under my skin, and whenever I talk to someone about it people always try to make excuses. "Well most pigs are rich." "Obviously they know what they are getting into." "It's just another power dynamic." Completely if ignoring the other party.
There is no situation in which using the language of actual grooming and predation is okay. There is no way to spin "I am possibly abusing someone's medical addiction for my own capital gain" into anything but a moral failure. We know these kinds of addicts exist in the space.
And the problem with addicts is they aren't rational. They'll lie to you. They'll trick you. And above all else they'll let you take advantage of them and then thank you about it. None of that gets you off the hook for abusing them, because you knew it was a possibility going in.
Because you've already admitted it's a possibility by bragging about how, as a goddess, you are taking advantage of you pig's (very possibly real) addiction. That's extremely, unequivocally, SUPER NOT OKAY, and there is just no way around it.
That's what makes findom so hard.
That's what makes findom so hard.
At best, findom is a sort of simulated capitalist exploitation that all parties have agreed to, but at worst it's just actual exploitation of the inability of people with addiction problems not being able to regulate, and all clients are black boxes.
Because once again, addicts will lie to you. They will tell you they are fine when you are actually hurting them. That is something that someone has a moral imperative to be aware of and glorifying language that obfuscates that sews the space for abuse.
Some kinks are more difficult to engage in than others. My fondness for restraints and pain can be more effectively limited to kink, than people doing things like findom, or the above mentioned forced intoxication. It is much easier to be an enabler, or an abuser, there.
Kinks that can spill out into the ability of a person to live a healthy life need to be engaged in responsibly. Bragging about how you are squeezing pennies out of pigs who are addicted to you isn't that, and like, we need to talk about that. A lot more than we are.
As an addict it makes me extremely uncomfortable to see this conversation come up time and again, and see a large group of people not take it seriously. The cornerstone of kink is consent, and nobody can consent to capital A abuse and manipulation. Period. End of story.
There is no possible world in which the unironic usage of language of predation is okay. There is no "It's fine, they consented in a way I have no actual ability to confirm."
There is no world in which "I abuse addicts" is okay.
It's just fucking not.
There is no world in which "I abuse addicts" is okay.
It's just fucking not.
It makes me uncomfortable because it naturally begs the question of what other kinds of capital A abuse are a okay if we can come up with a convenient shield for them, and then who among us are covering for those abusers around us.
