Thread by @mervfidan, CATCHING FEELINGS; MAINTAINING BOUNDARIES (THREAD)firstly, the tadbeer- how are we going to [...]

CATCHING FEELINGS; MAINTAINING BOUNDARIES (THREAD)
firstly, the tadbeer- how are we going to prevent ourselves getting into wrong things (remember the feeling isnt haraam but how u got into it may be haraam). then, if you do find yourself catching feelings, what do u do ab it?

TADBEER (PRECAUTION):
* don’t make yourself seem weak in front of other people, regardless of gender. this doesn’t mean don’t express your problems but rather don’t make yourself seem vulnerable and weak hearted. maintain your seriousness, but in a balanced way

* do not commit zina of the eyes. this so called ‘eye contact’ will only drag you into wrong feelings but you will also keep thinking about it and it will lead to other thoughts etc. the first look is fine but there’s no need to prolong it

* this also links to lowering your gaze. don’t be looking them up and down, don’t go round speaking ab their body or looks to your friends; have some haya!

* don’t go round telling everyone you fancy them. if it’s like your BEST friend then eh but telling everyone is the worst

thing you can do bc it creates expectations and it will only hurt you

* don’t be alone with them in an inaccessible and closed place. third person is shaytaan

* giving salam to them is fine but don’t make the conversations long and unnecessary. talking about unnecessary things

should be avoided at all costs

* don’t try doing things to impress them; if you really are serious ab them u wouldn’t let go of your modesty for that person. stay firm in your beliefs and don’t start losing them just to attract someone else. don’t post pictures that are against

modesty and don’t speak in a way that would lead to fitnah. keep up your boundaries

* don’t start up conversations w this person regularly online. deffo limit online conversations cos remember u truly are one to one online and it shld be avoided at all costs, unless it’s a

necessary conversation.

* don’t start showering them in positive adjectives all the time. don’t do things that would lead to the wrong idea, just speak normally and if needed ofc point out smth is good ab them but don’t overdo it bc that person may take it in the wrong way

* don’t lead people on. if you know someone is weak hearted don’t mess with their emotions. make your boundaries even more firm for their own sake, but neither shld you upset them because of this. be rational!

* don’t give in easily; people can make rumours quickly

stay firm on your path, don’t lose your relationship with Allah. even if everyone in the world was to come together, it wouldn’t fill the void you lost with your Lord. don’t give up dua and don’t give up your imaan for anyone or anything

now let’s say we potentially like them; now what:

* don’t stalk their social media, no need to continuously remind yourself of their existence

* remember that if it’s meant to be then Allah will allow it to happen. don’t force Qadr, have tawakkul in Allah He knows what’s best

* never leave dua. keep them in your dua’s and that shld be the only time u speak ab them (by this i mean don’t go round talking ab them to ur friends all day cos it will create unnecessary expectations)

* don’t listen to sad songs or love songs. Qur’an and nasheeds are enough

* don’t lose yourself, don’t give up. stay healthy, get your sleep and don’t let heartbreak or anything ruin you

* don’t deep everything they say. you’re more likely to be sensitive because you like them; just be cool and tell them to their face if they said something wrong;

don’t hide behind other people

* don’t backbite don’t slander about them bc you’re not making yourself feel better you’re just kindling yourself a fire in Hell

* don’t hate them in order to try and get over them. get over them because it’s best for both of you

* if you do have feelings, try your best to keep it to yourself, don’t make it too bait & you can still speak as normal just don’t lose yourself

* don’t make yourself seem weak in front of them bc they will take advantage of that and use you as a means to feed their ego

* don’t do things to impress them, remember intentions are important in Islam so don’t mess that up

* think positively; don’t assume everyone is against you

* don’t allow them to make the same mistake again to you; be forgiving but don’t be vulnerable

now ur gna say ‘well i’m gna have to lock myself away from the opposite gender’ not at all. we will be surrounded by them, we live together in society. it’s normal for us to sometimes catch feelings for people we see, but we must be cautious and not let it get the best of us

this is easier said than done i know but if you go about things the wrong way then you will just fall into a dark pit of sadness and guilt and regret. don’t let history repeat itself, be stronger and be braver. love entirely consumes a person, if any can save you its Allah

this is what’s important too; it’s not that we entirely avoid them. it’s that we maintain our boundaries that Islam has set for us, the ones i’ve mentioned here are more for our generation and things i’ve seen happen. if you do like someone, there’s a potential ofc but

firstly look at your age’s. are you guys mature. secondly make sure you haven’t gone through anything haraam in order to know each other. and as long as your boundaries are set, then you can go about it from there in a halal way ofc :)

but this is jus my piece of advice for people around my age (18) and those that are too young and can’t get into anything serious anyway. we have education we have a whole youth pls don’t waste it crying ab ppl

now imma end with; never EVER let your imaan go weak. always maintain your takwa (fear of God). constantly contemplate and reflect ab ur life. don’t force a Qadr with someone. let life do it’s thing, you do your part and leave the rest to Allah- Tawakkul. may Allah help you all

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