honestly? i stan my female friends who just aren't that nice. lol... not nice to men, not nice to anyone. They may be loving, kind, giving, wonderful, as people, but in behavior, they are quick to give attitude, ignore texts, start shit, call out, name problems

my 14 y.o. is has a streak kinda like this and as much as it
occasionally pains me or hurts my ego and/or feelings overall i'm like yeah...get it... lol

she's a kid and she'll figure out how she wants to be, and we can show her examples, but just seems like too often we prioritize teaching girls to be acceptable.

But you can't morally teach acceptability to a child in a society that is designed to dehumanize her...right??

to be acceptable in a society like that does not accept your humanity is fucking wrong lol.

I know she'll learn manners/respect whatever. i'm not worried about that.

but i am very wary of defaulting toward teaching politeness and manners over self determination and sanity

i see so many of my adult female friends working through the pressure to be nice, to advocate for their humanity without pissing people off and making enemies and it seems fucking impossible

i see so many of them being told variations of "i hear where you're coming from but i don't like your tone" or seeing people --even allies-- behave like their "lack of politeness" is a crime equal to oppression and it's fucking insane

watching women sort through a man's true intentions and worth by refusing to gas him up, refusing to give him a single thing he hasn't earned...and seeing how the real him comes out...this has been lovely to behold, and has taught me a FUCKING LOT about myself and all oppressions

men. let's normalize women not being that nice to you personally. period.

normalize not taking that personally

normalize appreciating who a woman is and what she's made of in a way that has literally NOTHING TO DO with whether or not she acts like she likes you specifically

anyway this is what's on my mind today for no particular reason. Do mutual aid, moisturize, water your plants, and give people space to overcome their own oppression.

also all this started bc i was watching love island uk season one