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So here’s my 2 cents.
It’s really something I’ve said many times before but let’s summarize it. https://twitter.com/soualiganamazon/status/1281674203427753984
It’s really something I’ve said many times before but let’s summarize it. https://twitter.com/soualiganamazon/status/1281674203427753984
W*ll & J*da used to be perceived in certain circles (non-monogamous/kink, feminist hetero women who just want men to be nicer so they can have “peaceful” marriage) as an example of a marriage where the woman was [care]free.
Ironically, it was because of the discussions on RTT that it became extremely clear that it was typical hetero BS (u know, the shit I’ve been saying for yrs about the data re: “egalitarian” het marriages really being traditional marriages w cherries on top).
It was clear that J wasn’t able to fully express her frustrations (the no yelling/hit with news paper moment), that like most women she compromised on dreams/goals/happeniss to be a good wife.
And the whole “no divorcing” thing. Trapped.
And the whole “no divorcing” thing. Trapped.
So when they broke it off for her to “find her happiness” she did what many older women who have been stifled by the nature of heterosexuality do.
She sought out a dynamic where the power imbalance would lean in her favor.
She sought out a dynamic where the power imbalance would lean in her favor.
I’ve brought this up about blk Chyna & keyshia cole & older women with money.
To overcompensate for the fact that by nature hetero dynamics put them in a space of having less power, the go for men too young to fully oppress & control them.
To overcompensate for the fact that by nature hetero dynamics put them in a space of having less power, the go for men too young to fully oppress & control them.
She could’ve dated men in her age group, with equal or more money and status. But then she’s be in the same place she was. Feeling powerless/captive/restrained.
She mentioned her fixation on fixing people and her codependency and that is a factor BUT it’s also alluring for women going through that “the life was sucked out of me” crisis to have a man (younger) who doesn’t have his shit together yet.
Black women especially (speaking mainly monied women but I’ve seen it in working class older BW as well) know it is MUCH harder to negotiate power in their relationships with men of equal standing. Many BW can’t even negotiate basic DECENCY.
So they go for a man who needs them to survive.A man who would be careful about fucking up access to a woman who can make the conditions of their lives unlike anything they’d have if they date women their age. (21 is young no one had their shit together @ 21)
My stance has not changed.
At all.
I clocked it as this very thing before but she (they) confirmed it.
At all.
I clocked it as this very thing before but she (they) confirmed it.
It was unethical. And patriarchal and racist understandings of black manhood means that Aug will not ever be affirmed about the fact that it was unethical & in some ways predatory. Will be ever develop the language to clock it as such? Idk.
But what I do know is clearly he has issues regarding the situation. The fact that he’s not spoken to her in years but still needs an outlet to express concern/confusion/hurt.
I know my stance will not be the popular one as I’ve seen lots of older BW expressing wanting to date younger men because of the lack of power they feel when they date men their age. A lot of women’s sexual “liberation” includes harming others...
And we clock in it in WW all the time (ie. “I’m partying with the nigg*rs! This is my body & im a bad girl! Woooh!”
But I clock it on all of us. Black, Cishet and LGBT+
Bless up.
But I clock it on all of us. Black, Cishet and LGBT+
Bless up.
