I was just thinking the other day about my most recent relationship and how it still affects me. Wasn’t as bad as this girl as I was allowed to dress and eat whatever I wanted but I was always yelled at or criticized for thinking certain ways or even acting certain ways that he https://twitter.com/kirbymadyson_/status/1281371242973540358

didn’t approve of. For example everyone knows how much I love Star Wars, but I was told repeatedly to “grow up” when I was simply just talking about the movies because it made me happy. Another thing I tend to do is be silent in car rides because I like to listen to the music

and I was scolded for doing that because he felt like I was hiding something from him or something was wrong and I just didn’t wanna tell him. And when I would tell him nothing was wrong he would call me a liar.

The one thing though that I can relate to this thread is the guilt he would make me feel for trying to “force” him into meeting my friends and family even after he agreed to meet them. He would tell me I was trying to change him into someone he’s not and it took me until after

the relationship ended to realize that’s what he had been doing to me the entire time. And I honestly hate him so much for it, I know that maybe I should forgive but sometimes it still affects me and how I act in my new relationship and I hate him so much for it.

There’s a whole list of things he would do or say as well. But the two biggest things he would do is be so dismissive of my depression and shame me for having sex with him. Yeah this guy would constantly say “I can’t believe you had sex with me so early on in the relationship..

you should have more respect for yourself” when he was the one who had had sex with 30+ women when he met me and he was my fourth at the time. Not to mention one of those women gave him an STD. And when I would bring that up he would say “well I’m a guy, it’s different”

Just typing all of this out makes me mad. But I felt like maybe it was time to let others know that if you are being treated this way, it’s not right. It’s not “love”. After all the arguments and lashing out he would apologize repeatedly like an abuser does. We would be good

until we weren’t again. And the shitty thing is I really felt guilty for acting certain ways. Acting like me. And I would apologize for that. And I would leave him time and time again only to be brought back by guilt or “the good times”

I’m pretty much done talking about this now but if you or someone you know is going or has gone through this just know you are not alone. And just because they don’t hit you, doesn’t mean it’s not abusive. People like my ex want to belittle people so they can feel big and

important. They want to take peoples voice away.