Cleaning my house today has made me think of all the things I didn’t know before I went on courses and understood more about professional cleaning. I’m thinking I could share some tips. This may be a long thread.

The first thing to know is that removing dirt is basically chemistry. It’s all about pH levels. Something that is acidic can be neutralised by adding something alkaline and vice versa.

Most general cleaners are neutral(ish). They sit at about pH 7 or thereabouts. They are quite gentle, won’t cause any damage and are fine for just cleaning your floor or your work surfaces.

I believe they have to state the pH level on the bottle somewhere, so you can check.

Fat is acidic. I know that makes no sense at all, but it is. You need alkali (not sure if alkali or alkaline is the correct term - sorry scientists) to neutralise it. So grease, fat, the nasty scum around the bottom of your shower (your gross body oils) and even poo.

Limescale is alkali. Acid will neutralise it. Brilliant. Easy. Except it’s not.

Because limescale is a natural material. It’s a mineral deposit. It’s similar to natural stones that you might have in your bathroom. Marble, stone, slate. So if you use acid on the limescale on your taps and you get some on your marble, it’ll damage that too.

Likewise, things made from oil like rubber and linoleum will be damaged if you try and use alkali to get the fat off it. So rubber seals on ovens you have to be aware of.

Now, companies who make cleaning products will use barefaced lies to sell their products. They’ll sell a bathroom cleaner that claims to gets rid of limescale and oils in your shower. If you’ve been paying attention you’ll know that’s not going to be possible.

What you’re probably getting is a neutral product which won’t be effective on either.

So if you’re cleaning your bathroom, you probably need a limescale remover for your taps, your shower head, maybe your shower screen. Then a fat remover for the greasy bit around the bottom of your shower and the bath scum.

Be careful to never use bleach and limescale remover together. They mix and produce a dangerous gas.

As far as avoiding getting your limescale remover on your natural stone, there’s no secret. Either be careful or don’t use limescale remover. If you’re buying a bathroom, avoid natural stone. Go for porcelain and tiles. It’s so much easier.

And I think my last tip for now is that dishwasher tablets are a brilliant hack. They’re designed to melt fat. Dissolve them in some hot water and wipe down your cooker top and your work surfaces with it. Or use it for the bottom of your shower. Easy peasy! Smells great too.