I'm realizing how much gaslighting goes on when one is a Brown woman in a white institution and the institution doesn't acknowledge anything about your racialized or gendered work experience--just wants you to be the Brown body on the diversity committee so it can check its box.

And by that I mean willfully refuses to recognize your experience as valid. Refuses to acknowledge harm and harassment.

And a brown body with an invisible disability like rheumatoid arthritis, mood disorder, and when you appear neurotypical or have learned to perform the traits that allow you to navigate a white, abled workspace—then what? How do you then advocate for your labor, accommodations?

It’s in their interest to mishear you, to make you perform your disability to make you grovel for accommodations. I’m sorry you don’t seem sick. He didn’t mean to have his hand grab your boob. Maybe you just moved the wrong way and his hand was just in the way?

It’s not even “wants” you—but has defined diversity so that a DIVERSE body must do the diversity work so that the white administrators, deans, ED, can pay themselves & pat themselves on the back. Look, we performed some color, we are good white liberals.