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Assumptions make an ass outta...
Today a person living with HIV tweeted that the phrase "HIV-affected" bothered them.
I assumed they were criticizing the phrase "HIV-infected" because I had never heard of anyone being offended by the phrase "HIV-affected" before.
Assumptions make an ass outta...
Today a person living with HIV tweeted that the phrase "HIV-affected" bothered them.
I assumed they were criticizing the phrase "HIV-infected" because I had never heard of anyone being offended by the phrase "HIV-affected" before.
2/
It always seemed like a benign term to me.
I replied to them, saying I was always taught that "HIV-affected" referred to people who weren't living with #HIV, but were impacted ("affected") by the virus nonetheless.
And kept it moving.
A response came quickly.
It always seemed like a benign term to me.
I replied to them, saying I was always taught that "HIV-affected" referred to people who weren't living with #HIV, but were impacted ("affected") by the virus nonetheless.
And kept it moving.
A response came quickly.
3/
Turns out the person who posted it assumed I was talking down to them as if they didn't know what "HIV-affected" meant.
Saying I was a "plum fool" and doubling down on not digging the phrase "HIV-affected."
In other words... "I said what I said."
Turns out the person who posted it assumed I was talking down to them as if they didn't know what "HIV-affected" meant.
Saying I was a "plum fool" and doubling down on not digging the phrase "HIV-affected."
In other words... "I said what I said."
4/
Another person chimed in, assuming I was just an HIV doc, improperly inserting myself and my opinions into a conversation led by folks who were actually living with HIV.
In other words... "Stay in yo lane doc."
Three individuals.
Three assumptions.
Another person chimed in, assuming I was just an HIV doc, improperly inserting myself and my opinions into a conversation led by folks who were actually living with HIV.
In other words... "Stay in yo lane doc."
Three individuals.
Three assumptions.
5/
I assumed folks couldn't be offended by the phrase "HIV affected."
They were.
They assumed I thought they were stupid and was talking down to them.
I didn't, and I wasn't.
They also assumed I was HIV negative.
I'm not. Haven't been for 13 years.
I assumed folks couldn't be offended by the phrase "HIV affected."
They were.
They assumed I thought they were stupid and was talking down to them.
I didn't, and I wasn't.
They also assumed I was HIV negative.
I'm not. Haven't been for 13 years.
6/
All our assumptions were off.
The three of us continued tweeting, starting with apologies, then explaining our perspectives. After that we followed each other.
It was dope.
And I learned something.
Even a well-intended comment can come off as offensive and stigmatizing.
All our assumptions were off.
The three of us continued tweeting, starting with apologies, then explaining our perspectives. After that we followed each other.
It was dope.
And I learned something.
Even a well-intended comment can come off as offensive and stigmatizing.
7/
Even from an "HIV doctor."
That presented an opportunity for me to apologize first, explain my intent, then shut up and listen to how my words offended them.
And they apologized to me for assuming my tone was condescending and that I was HIV negative - just cuz I'm a doctor.
Even from an "HIV doctor."
That presented an opportunity for me to apologize first, explain my intent, then shut up and listen to how my words offended them.
And they apologized to me for assuming my tone was condescending and that I was HIV negative - just cuz I'm a doctor.
8/
I've often heard folks working in the HIV field say:
"Whether you are HIV-INfected or HIV-AFfected..."
And think that phrasing is progressive.
Its not.
I knew that saying "HIV-infected" was stigmatizing. Today I realized the "HIV-affected" part is too.
I've often heard folks working in the HIV field say:
"Whether you are HIV-INfected or HIV-AFfected..."
And think that phrasing is progressive.
Its not.
I knew that saying "HIV-infected" was stigmatizing. Today I realized the "HIV-affected" part is too.
9/
We teach people not to say "HIV-infected" - instead say "someone living with HIV."
We can also teach people not to say "HIV-affected" - instead say "someone impacted by HIV."
It's not that hard.
Thanks @MxAbdulAliy and @GranVarones. Y'all took me to school today.
We teach people not to say "HIV-infected" - instead say "someone living with HIV."
We can also teach people not to say "HIV-affected" - instead say "someone impacted by HIV."
It's not that hard.
Thanks @MxAbdulAliy and @GranVarones. Y'all took me to school today.
