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Hot take but I don't like those "if you're attracted to men I'm sorry" posts as if mlm's attraction to one another isn't already vilified enough by str8s
mlm are literally treated as diseased for being attracted to men - you can't give blood in the UK if you've had sex with another man recently because the blood and transplant service treats mlm like they must all have HIV and other infectious illnesses
m-spec men are often treated as dirty by women, or like their attraction to men must mean they're secretly gay, or are more likely to be unfaithful.
m-spec women are often alienated from wlw spaces because they're seen as impure or invaders because of their attraction to men. They're frequently unwelcome in wlw spaces for having a male partner, as though guilty by association. Even lesbians who previously dated men are +
seen as lesser and treated poorly by their own community, as if their association with men is somehow bringing men into women's spaces.
Trans women's attraction to men is treated with homophobic and transphobic disgust - men who sleep with trans women are seen as gay, and trans women are treated like sexual deviants entrapping unsuspecting men into being with them.
Attraction to trans men is often seen as not "real" attraction to men, and trans men are treated like gender traitors for not remaining as women. They're also often accused of being straight women fetishising mlm if they themselves are mlm
Treating attraction to men like a gross or unfortunate thing isn't Woke when people are literally still being murdered for their attraction to men, especially trans women and mlm.
also so many trans men struggle with accepting themselves as men, and feeling like anyone will ever love them as a man, because y'all treat being a man like it's the worst thing that could happen to someone
I'm not saying misandry or reverse sexism or whatever. Criticising men as a class and their tendency to participate in certain kinds of oppression is fine. What's not fine is treating attraction to men like it's gross. You're not punching up by doing that
The people the "my condolences if you're attracted to men" sentiments hurt are not cishet women, it's other LGBTQ+ people whose attraction to men is already stigmatised.
like did y'all listen at all to the people fighting for society to acknowledge that you don't get to choose who you're attracted to? Don't be dicks to people about things they can't control, like their sexuality.
anyway I'm really gay for men, I love my boyfriend, and I'm not at all upset about the fact I'm attracted to men bc if I wasn't, I wouldn't be living with my soulmate coparenting three cats together
for a lot of people, realising you don't have to be attracted to men, it's okay to not be attracted to men, is important and revolutionary for them and that's a wonderful experience. But please don't celebrate that in a way that hurts other LGBTQ+ people w different experiences
Since y'all can't read: I'm not saying don't joke about or celebrate YOUR OWN lack of attraction to men. That's fine. I'm all for people celebrating their own lack of attraction to men. If you do that, this thread isn't about you.
I'm talking about when people joke about OTHER PEOPLE's attraction to men, without specifying they're not talking about LGBTQ people. "I'm glad I'm not cishet" is fine - it's punching up and doesn't harm LGBTQ people, and it's talking abt yourself
The sentiment I'm talking about is the example I gave in the first tweet in the thread - talking about other people, saying things like "my condolences if you're attracted to men" as if it's a bad thing, when a lot of LGBTQ+ people are actively harmed because of their +
attraction to men, and can really struggle to come to terms with the fact they're attracted to men. And it doesn't help those people to be made to feel even worse by the way some people within the LGBTQ+ community treat attraction to men like a disease
And I'm also not saying that only people who are not attracted to men make these jokes, this tweet is not specifically about lesbians - tbh I've seen more of these jokes from m-spec people than anyone else
and again, coming from m-spec people, it's fine to joke about your own attraction to men, just don't generalise that to everyone as if there aren't people who struggle enormously to accept their attraction to men
even the like "i'm sorry you're attracted to men, men are trash" jokes come off as patronising. like yes, men are trash, but it feels victim blame-y to put that on the ppl who can't help that they're attracted to them, and not on the men themselves
I say this as someone who was abused by a male partner, who developed PTSD and phobias of men who looked like my abuser. my attraction to men isn't why I was abused.
And that kind of patronising attitude feels like it's minimising that non-binary ppl and women can also treat their partners like trash. Survivors who weren't victimised by men exist.
