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hey everyone! I've had this account for a while now but didn't want to start getting too involved until I'd worked through some stuff myself. I guess I'll start with my transition - I came out as nonbinary at 14, and then a trans man a couple months later just before I turned 15.
I'm from the UK and got a referral for GIDS after I came out, where I had six 'therapy' sessions - although I wouldn't exactly class them as anything close to therapy - and was referred for puberty blockers. I went on the blockers at 16, and testosterone a year after that at 17.
I started uni (I'm a med student) last sept after being on hormones for about 5 months, and my voice dropped pretty quickly so I was stealth - I told a couple of my close friends but apart from that no one knew I'd transitioned.
Sexuality wise, I actually came out as bi when I was either 12 or 13 (before I'd questioned my gender) and then came to the conclusion I was a gay trans guy age 16 and was in a relationship with another trans guy from 16-18.
I'm not sure exactly what triggered it, and I'm sure it was a lot of things over time, but I started questioning things around feb/march this year when I realised I was only attracted to women and stopped testosterone.
For me, the changes from being on hormones for about 9 months haven't been that permanent. My voice has somehow gone back to pretty much how it was before, I never grew any facial hair, and my face shape is definitely already changing.
What I didn't expect is that even with my body starting to change again, my dysphoria has pretty much gone. I spent 4 years binding for at least 12 hours every single day, usually from when I woke up to when I went to sleep, but I'm now strangely comfortable with my sex.
There's no way for me to say one thing that led to my transition - a mix of childhood trauma, an ED, my sexuality and being butch, and spending most of my waking hours online probably all contributed. I was also put on antipsychotics (quetiapine/seroquel) at 15.
I was told I had bipolar - which I definitely don't - and came off the meds myself about a year and a half ago. I pretty much spent two years with my emotions completely numbed by these drugs, along with essentially going through menopause at 16 so it's been a pretty wild ride-
-relearning what it's like to exist just.. naturally? Over the past few months I've read a lot, thought a lot, wrote a lot - and still have a long long way to go. It's been a confusing time but I'm ready to stop lurking and start talking (and maybe make some friends
)!
)!
ps i'm a massive lefty and sorry this was so long lol
