I think my experience as an alcoholic in recovery is helping me in this pandemic. I have spent the past 12.5 years having to live in today, deal with “now” and “soon” instead of “eventually” and “forever.”

There are times that being an alcoholic in recovery feels like a superpower. I have been given this amazing set of tools that help me deal with uncertainty and fear and powerlessness.

I don’t know what’s next. I think it’s going to be worse. But I don’t know. I’m only me. I’m only here. It’s only now. All I can do is what’s in front of me today.

Today I’m safe and healthy. Today I am not going to drink. Today I will go on a nice long bike ride. Today I am employed. Today I have food in the pantry and my piano is tuned.

I don’t know if I’ll have a lot to be grateful for tomorrow. But today I have many things in my life that are wonderful: a great relationship and a good job and I love where I live.

In recovery, I am able to change the frame of my experience of challenging times to focus on what I can control.

I can’t change the pandemic. I can wear a mask and avoid gatherings.

I can’t change the president. I can vote and protest.

I can’t change systemic racism. I can create spaces for discussion at work and donate to anti-racist causes.

I am small and I am ok about being small. I accept that I am not going to get what I want right now. The country is not going to get better today. The virus is not going away tomorrow.

But I am grateful for where I am, for what I have, for my sobriety and my relationships and my home.

I have find brief peace at the piano or on a long run.

And the time will come, one day, maybe not soon, when we look back at this and it is over. One day, maybe not soon, there will be a different president and there will be open restaurants and concert halls.

One day we will be done with all of this. And when that happens? We should stop and remember to celebrate.

I remember telling myself that about my dissertation. My divorce. Job searches. I remember telling friends about that as they dealt with divorce and tax and legal issues: the time is coming when this will all be over.

This will all pass too. One day. And so today, I will be grateful for what I have. Where I am. And I will do today what I can do today.

For 4,524 days in a row I haven’t had a drink. I’m not going to drink today. Tomorrow looks good. Tuesday can take care of itself.