Happy 4th!

In honor of Liberty a thread about our melting pot of cultures and beauraceacy:

Background - We planted our first grape vines in 2015. I assumed at some point we’d have our own label and began to think of different names to call our wines.

I had a list of several I thought were funny, but my favorite was having a wine called Rumspringa. Given that my grandfather was raised Amish I thought it was a great fit for one of our wines.

Of course my parents hated it. Rumspringa didn’t give the vibe of a fine wine that they would be proud of selling.

Over the next several years when the subject of naming wines came up I’d slip Rumspringa in there until they eventually warmed up the idea.

When it came time to name our wine made of Gruner Veltliner, grapes that originated in Austria, the thought of using a Germanic word like Rumspringa was fitting.

So we got the label designed, submitted it to the TTB (federal agency) and TABC (state agency), after several months we were finally approved, then labels were printed and put on bottles. As soon as bottle shock subsides the wine will be ready to sell.

But then we get a letter from a lawyer in California....their client owns the trademark for Rumspringa and we are not allowed to call our wine that or face a lawsuit.

They agree to let us sell through our inventory if we will change the name next year. Cool. So we won’t be out much money.

But I’m still disappointed. Didn’t even occur to me someone else might have a Rumspringa wine. And how did they find out about us? I didn’t file a trademark so someone was watching label approvals and checking against trademarks.

No matter. I guess another person with Amish heritage has a winery. But no...

Though the lawyer is in California, the winery is in Ohio. I look them up. They come from Philadelphia and have an English last name. Lame, but whatever.

We agree to the terms then get another letter. Sell through the inventory, but don’t sell it online. Don’t promote it on social media. If they see any mention of it online they’re coming after us.

And now enough time has passed we are in Covid-land. How am I supposed to sell through inventory if I can’t sell online. The tasting room is closed. I’m no longer irritated. I’m mad.

And since they changed the terms during negotiation it’s not worth trying to work things out. Best course of action is to come up with a new name.

I think of several hateful names about people from Philadelphia, but that’s not constructive. It needs to be funny like Rumspringa was.

After several days of thinking a fitting name finally comes to me. An inside joke of all the trouble we’ve gone through to sell this wine.

We go through all the same steps again. Our designer changes the label, we go back to get federal and state approval, and we get new labels printed. We will have to peel the old labels off, and put the new labels on, but can actually advertise that we have it.

And now without further ado I present:
Yoder Cellars Cultural Appropriation

Oh. And we added another step this time. I now own the trademark for Cultural Appropriation.

Think about that for a second. I own Cultural Appropriation. How absolutely ridiculous is that?

I, a white guy, own a phrase popularized by minorities because I couldn’t sell wine with a name relating to my heritage online during a pandemic when the government was forcing me to stay closed.

Happy 4th everyone.