Thread by @adulttomboy, I’ve had this account for a few months, but I’ve never really [...]

I’ve had this account for a few months, but I’ve never really done a proper intro, so I figured I’d do that now and keep it handy. I’ll try to make this quickish:
- You can call me Danny.
- I’m 20 and a junior at a university in California
- Lesbian, in a relationship

- I identified as a trans man for 5 years, from early 2015 to March 2020.
- On T for 3yrs 9mo, from June 2016 to March 2020.
- I’ve been reidentified/detransitioning for about 3 months, but I’ve been critical of gender ideology for about 2 years (since mid-2018)

- I came to identify as trans around age 15, and if I had to give a single reason why, it’s that I was in online spaces that encouraged me to develop and flesh out a belief in an innate gendered soul as a coping mechanism for the host of mental health and personal issues I had

before I transitioned. These included inattentive ADHD, a self-harm problem, depression, a history as a victim of online grooming, a (then budding) eating disorder, and an internalized resentment of my sexuality and the fact that my body seemed to be built for something I didn’t

want at all.
- My medical transition was a pretty successful venture. My social life, mental health, and grades all improved significantly. But I just couldn’t escape the cognitive dissonance I felt. I always hated “TERFs” (lol), but beyond that I flitted around between different

iterations of gender identity ideology, trying to make complete sense of the way I experienced the world. All the while, I was terrified of any sort of trans-critical content that would force me to question my (by then deeply) ingrained beliefs about myself and others.

- Eventually I was forced to confront them. After a routine “op is a terf” scolding to one of my online friends, I felt bad at the way she apologized so profusely for just sharing a post. I started reading those “TERF” blogs myself, first as a kind of punishment, but eventually

out of genuine curiosity because I knew that what I had believed about these people for 3 years now was based on misinformation specifically targeted to suit a particular agenda, one that I had assumed was the only moral position to take, shutting out any evidence to the contrary

- As I grew more comfortable acknowledging my biology, calling myself “butch” again, I toyed with the idea of detransitioning for the first time in fall 2018. It did not work out, partially because I was living on an all-male floor at the time, but partially bc I did not think

my experiences fit the bill of someone who benefits from detransitioning: namely, I had almost no regrets about my (pediatric) medical and social transition, no desire to be regarded as female, and plans to transition further.

- I think I’ve learned a lot between then and when I made this account. Among the most important lessons: to stop trying to fit my own personal history into someone else’s narrative, and to look into what someone is saying if you disagree with it vehemently.

- Likewise, I learned there is not just one reason to detransition. There are plenty of women like me, who feel transition worked for them but for the wrong reasons, and who are just as keen as I am to explore why girls like me are being given a one-size-fits all solution to a

set of symptoms that can reflect any number of our problems.
- Anyways this was kind of all over the place but I figured I owed it to all of you lovely people. Thank you for reading if you got this far!

- It was not quickish.

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